~*~ You Are Truly Loved ~*~
Hey guys.. I’m a Pisces. I broke up with my ex last month. When we broke up he accused me of cheating on him, which I never had. We were together for 8 months. Please bear with me..
First week: I didn’t contact him. He did contact me online, said hi and said he’s thinking about me and asking where I am. I was out having dinner with friends. And that was it. I contacted him 2 days later, we chatted a bit and he turned this chat into another drama by accusing me again.I stayed calm and I did in my power to assure him that I never cheated on him. I ignored him and he called me. He was really calm nothing like the words he said on yahoo, which stung me real bad. On this week, he asked whether I’m seeing someone else or talk to someone else, and I said no, because I didn’t.
Second week: He contacted me again, and he went mad all over again at me, accusing me and bringing everything in the past. He said, “if u felt half as crazy as I am now, you would be contacting me like I am now.”. I said, “I did, but u keep accusing me when I contacted u last time and you’re doin it now. How am I suppose to do?”. He still asked about whether I talk or see someone else after we broke up and I said no. Shortly, I ended up changed the topic and we talked about other stuffs. At the end of convo he said, “maybe we should get together some time.” I said, “sure.”
Third week: He contacted me again, we talked for 2 hours. I asked if he’s seeing someone else and he said no. He’s too busy right now, he doesn’t even wanna date anyone and feel pretty turn off to relationship after we broke up. He asked me, “Why do u want to?” I said, “All I know right now is I still wanna be with u cause I do still love you.” He replied, “I dunno.. Im going through hard time right now. I mean I dunno what wud happen. We tried and we tried and we tried to work things out. i just feel like we are too similar in ways and too different in other ways and it’s hard because I do love you.”
Fourth week: he’s getting distant at me so I made a move, contacted him but he’s being passive. Didn’t really asked about anything in my life. I texted him one day, he didn’t reply. So I decided to make last attempt to write him email, I poured my heart out about our relationship, did some self-introspection and where things went wrong. And I did mention I wanna get back but I also give him space if he needs it. Next day, he said he got my mail and he said he needs time to think about it.. Then the day after, he asked if we could meet up on Sunday, which was yesterday. He’s still jealous at me about who I went out with and stuffs. But I was just out with my friends, I haven’t seen new guy.
So we met, we talked he’s getting talkative. And I brought up the topic about the email. He said he doesn’t have the answer yet, he needs to read it again. Then he continued saying, “you should understand that my life’s changed right now and my job is very stressful (it’s true tho..) and I can’t deal with the issue if we got back together and nothing’s changed. If we wanna get back together, I have to see something’s changed. I do miss you and I wanna hang out with you, let’s just stay friends and see how things are. Al we did was just talk and talk about it but nothing’s changed..”
I asked him if he still loves me and he said of course I do.. I asked him if he’s seeing anybody and he said no. he asked me the same question and I said no, he asked one more time “are u sure?” and I said no. We ended up having **** that night. I woke up first, I was at his porch then he went to me reminding me to take a shower cause i need to work. Then when I was about to leave, he kissed me 3 times.. When I left, he texted me “good seeing u..” and asked about the traffic. We texted each other for 3more times. At night I found him online and asked how his day was, we chatted for a bit then he went to bed cause he’s really tired..
I feel like he wants to see how far I wud go to prove my love for him. I feel like he wants to test my patience. At the same time, he needs to see that change but im afraid of getting into this FWB thing.. I know for a fact he still loves me. But i’m just scared…
I did send him email last night to respond to his wish to take things slow. I told him that I respect his wish to take things slow and I understand his situation. I can’t pressure him more to be in a relationship with me without seeing any changes. I said I accept his decision and I want to gain his trust to see that changes. I wanna make this work for both of us cause I know we both still love each other. I will give him space and at the same time I need him to give effort for us.
Does it make me seem weak and desperate by emailing him that? I just wanted him to know that i’m being sincere and genuine to what I said about what I want from us. He hasn’t replied or said anything until now. We haven’t spoken to each other for 4 days. Last time was on Monday when I found him online. Why is he doing this to me? What is he trying to do?
Also, he’s been adding girls on his fb.. and his friends said he’s been sleeping around with plenty girls ever since we broke up. He’s hurt and I can can see he’s hurt. maybe that’s what he does out of depression? But he’s been loyal and never cheated when he’s with me.
My mind’s filled with negatives now that everything he said was just his intention saying in a soft way that he cant get back to me, slowly but sure drifting away, hoping I would get his message. But all he said makes sense to me. He wouldn’t wanna risk his job to be with me without seeing any changes because we have tried and tried in the past.
Please help what should I do to get back with him? Do u think it’s really over and he’s just being nice to me when he said that?
Thank you so much! Especially for reading this… I know it’s long but i’m really lost and need some insights..