the general description mostly suits me, but i think a bit of a rough up-bringing has put some changes into me. i’ve always been a romantic dreamer. i’ve always had the girl i considered perfect at the time on my mind and nothing else mattered. i definitely have trouble communicating my emotions with words and desperately seek out other methods.

i just kind of randomly met my first cancerian girl and i had never felt better in my life. i can sense that she doesn’t like to always be the one to lead the way and that really makes me want to just find out exactly what i need to do to better this for her. at the same time, when she is being brave i get an amazing rush off of it and i’m happy to be whatever she needs me to be.

unfortunately, she was only here for 2 weeks before moving away to a bigger city. 2 weeks seems like nothing, but the connection was unbelievable. we could both just feel eachother even without words. i’m typically someone who starts to worry when it gets quiet, too. but the time we spent just laying in eachother’s arms or whatever felt so incredibly right. the sex was amazing but all of the emotion just naturally pouring out of us for hours afterwards was just beautiful.

we both knew it was just kind of a fun summer thing, but now she’s all i think about. i’m a musician writing her a new song every couple of days. she’d told me one night that she’d given up on relationships. now that we’ve had our brief time and she’s away she’d told me that she wants to let the emotions back into her life. damned cutest thing i’d ever heard. i need to be the guy who’s there for her, but now that she’s so many miles away i just don’t know what to do with myself.

i will still probably see her a few times a year, but this is the girl i just need to be around. we both get so much from eachother. my life’s a helpless mess. (making money when your driving passion is music isn’t easy.) but if i had this girl everything else in life would just be details. i’d figure something out. i wonder if she’d have the ability to help me with something like this. i need to be with this girl, and i’m not being selfish about it. i’d do anything for her.

she’s a beautiful, kind, caring, fun girl. everything i have trouble seeing in my daily life. she makes me so happy effortlessly and that makes me want to do the same for her. i just don’t know how. i’m trying to show her that i do have confidence… that i can be the strong type she wants me to be. it’s just been so long that a girl meant so much to me… and now she’s so far away. i can’t let go.