Marital discourses(Breaking Marriage), extra marital affairs(Cheating Partner), break ups (Dealing with public break up) and what not, many common and slightly dark facets of marriage or any romantic relationship (relationship stress) has been brought into light here in various articles. This write up would be dealing with a rather laughter provoking but a very serious subject with regards to any committed relationship. Men with two wives are definitely not extinct. Let’s see what results in such relations and what does such relations conclude into!
The practice of a man having two or more wives is called as polygamy. We would express the other aspects of it as well, but to begin with, let’s take into consideration the aspects of polygamy referring to its religious origins.
Note: The discussion below refers to the religious reference to polygamy with no offences to any religion in particular.
Anthropological Reasons Of Polygamy
The practice of Polygamy is allowed in Islam according to Quran which requires following of some set of rules stated therein, whereas some people of thus religion do not agree with this practice. In America, as per some statistical data, there is a small group of people who practice as well as favour and promote the practice of polygamy. This is a Christian group who favour this as per their misinterpretations of some of the Bible teachings.
The anthropologists suggest the following reasons for this practice of a man marrying more than one wife:
- It is assumed to assure a male child production or a child in the case of a female producing only male child or the barren or biologically infertile females.
- In countries like Brazil and the African countries where the ratio of male is to female is quite unstable, the practice of polygamy is assumed to keep the ‘surplus woman’ in check.
- In some countries in the past, where divorce is prohibited, multiple marriages come into practice.
Facts About Polygamy- (When the number of marriages are recognised)
When a man marries more than one woman, it is usually a sign of his unfaithfulness towards his first wife. Even though it is rarely a subject of casual discussion amongst any age group, still it is given it’s share of thinking discreetly by everyone. These thoughts can vary from being for against the practice of polygamy. Following are some of the facts associated with this:
- In any polygamous relationship if a man commits or promises to marry an other woman, then he cannot make his current marriage as an excuse to save himself from any such commitments. Also, the responsibilities of any number of marriages are same as in any marriage, the financial liabilities, the duties towards the children from all the marriages etc. cannot be avoided whatsoever.
- In countries such as US, UK or Australia where the religion of Christianity is prevalent, statistic shows that more than 50-60 % of the married people have professed to have been indulged in the extra marital affairs. An indulgence into any romantic relationship outside marriage has now turned out to be a reply to the unfaithful or failing marriages today.
- When a man marries more than one woman under the legally acceptable terms, when it is known to all the wives that their husband is related in the same relation with more than one female, the wives can be helpful to each other during the days of pregnancy or familial requirements.
- A major difference between polygamy and extra marital affair is that extra marital affairs are mostly based on sexual fulfilment or attraction whereas polygamy isn’t based on any outside marriage carnal desires. Where this is mostly thought of a practice by men just to satisfy their sexual desires or carnal explorations, it is not true.
The practice of Polygamy is not new to our society or knowledge. On the other hand an astonishing fact is that there is yet another practice called polyandry which stands for the women engaged into more than one marriage. But, this stays as a lesser known and least or least practiced affair.
What Provokes Multiple Marriages?
With every passing day we come across one or the other relationship disaster around us. Every discord has some genuine or ridiculous reasons of its own. In this era of less loyal relationships, more divorces and extra marital affairs, everyone seeks fidelity from his/her partner in marriage or any romantic relationship. But the same lot seeks excitement elsewhere as well at some point of their committed life. Let’s see this and many such reasons which together tend to result in the extra marital affairs of more than one marriages-
- Amusement is the root cause for multiple marriages especially when it’s about the youth of today. The easy way to make personal relationships fun filled and enjoyable remains to be indulgence outside commitment for many people today. No wonder more and more relationships are breaking than mending these days! So the craziness and a wish for excitement is something with result in immediate involvement of a person in romantic involvements outside marriage.
- Ownership is in itself a winsome feeling for many. Owning some person in love thus has its own realisation of more than one possession. A man falling for a woman outside his marriage has a similar kind of idiosyncratic view about himself. In any committed relationship also, where one partner might be in love with his/her counterpart, the latter might be more in a mental satisfaction of owning the former.
- An “unstable in love” person starts yearning for a previously more playful and responsibility free life. The only logical solution to such people whether or not they are in a committed relationship or marriage is to experiment their sexual attraction outside their current relationship. This results in extra marital affairs or a person getting into more than one marriages.
- Sometimes more than one marriage is not the result of a sexual desire outside marriage. It is a requirement of a couple which is mutual. Eg: If a couple have been trying too hard for a baby but some health deficiency of the female counterpart seems to be an issue, then second marriage is often accepted as a solution by a mutual agreement. This is for the situations in which the couple are keen to parent their own child and not an adopted child instead. Such a practice is common and is accepted by a lot of couples today owing to solve their offspring issues.
Disadvantages Or Problems In Polygamy
More than one marriages, whether done for a cause or without any proper reasoning or cause, this practice has its own share of minor or major problems:
- A fact worth contemplation here is the set of next generation that is created from polygamous relationships. A child bears the influence of his/her familial background which is inevitable and obvious. If the bunch of next gen comes from a background that encourages criminal offences then a polygamous marriage in this case serves to be hazardous to the society.
- The financial responsibilities are not a piece of cake. If a man belongs to a financially weaker section then getting involved in more than one marriages for whatever genuine reasons is highly unacceptable. A man is equally responsible to his other wives and respective families as he has been towards the first wife and the first family. There is no escape from those responsibilities as such.
- Your involvement in more than one romantic relationship may pose as a wrong example or teaching for your kids. The sanctity of marriage is never governed by any sexual explorations or any requirements of marrying outside current marriage. Children watching their one or both parents marrying to one or more partners stands as an ethically wrong teaching to them and serves them with a wrong definition of marriage.
- This practice is most of the times less about a carnal satisfaction and more about having a power over more than one person/wife/husband.
- Polygamy or Polyandry becomes socially painful and at times unacceptable. Children from polygamous marriages can become a subject of mockery in the society.
Getting involved in more than one commitment is not always a positive step whether by a man or by a woman. It has its own share of sufferings which can be painful for every single member involved therein. Such decisions which seem to be taken just amongst two people involved romantically is not the truth of the situation. What lies in the dark is the members associated with the three or more partners in talk.
Even though at times this could serve to be a boon for a lady with less resources, that is to say that a woman can receive shelter and an assurance of being a part of the institution of marriage, the obvious negative as well as positive aspects attached herewith cannot be ignored or neglected.