The whole world goes on and on about love. Poets spend their lives writing about it. Everyone thinks it’s the most wonderful thing. But, when you mention two guys in love, they forget all that and freak out.
―Mark A. Roeder, Outfield Menace
A substantial amount of contemplation and analysis has been done about the marriage, love and romance and all that comes as a part and parcel of it. It’s time for a little detour from opposite sex to same sex relationships. Where some might raise their eyebrows on this statement, many must be looking forward to know more about the same. This write up would be dealing with the gay relationships.
Before an in depth study and discussion is carried out on the subject of Gay relationships and its various positive and negative aspects, let us begin by clarifying our thoughts regarding the same. The law of attraction doesn’t have any bounds or principles when it is about two people falling in love with each other. When it is a matter of heart and fondness for someone, there are no limitations of the attraction being only in between two people of opposite sexes. One’s sexual orientation is in his/her body and nature, it is not necessarily by choice. It is thus to be considered by all means as normal a romantic relationship as any other. Marriage and romantic involvements are personal choices and basic human right.
How To Be A Better Partner In A Gay Relationship
A gay couple have as much issues in their relationships as in other opposite sex relationships. But no issues are devoid of their respective solutions. Here is how you can be a better partner to him:
- Boundaries and agreements are essential in any romantic relationship. You need to clarify what you want out of your relationship with him and at the same time be well versed with what he expects out of you. Following are the scenarios which would clarify this fact of boundary and agreement:
- You flirt with other men in the absence of your partner.
- Same sex relationships come across being bad mouthed by family and society quite often. In such cases you stand back and let your partner hear it all out instead of you standing up to his rescue.
- He forces you to indulge in sexual practices which you are not too comfortable with.
- Work and his hobbies are of more priority for your partner than spending a good deal of time with you.
- There is a lack of open communication or presentation of opinion when it is about each other’s wishes and expectations.
- Communication of your romantic feelings towards your partner is important. In same sex relationships these are a little different. Make sure what you say means something than absolutely nothing.
- Two successful people in a gay relationship always share some common interests and qualities which makes them positively compatible with each other.
- In the moments of arguments and discords try to make a collaborative effort in dealing with the issues and avoid making any hurtful remarks to each other. Managing a conflict in a productive manner is as important in a same sex relationship as in any other relationship.
- Too much of an identification as a couple can bring the positive aspects of your relationship to a saturation point. An individual identity is equally essential. This further initiates a balanced lifestyle.
- Seriousness is important in any relationship, but going overboard with it can lead to a hardened demeanour. Some things and situations are meant to be perceived and dealt with lightly which further adds to the humorous and the fun part of the relationship.
- It is important to keep your self esteem and confidence in your commitment high. It is thud advisable to have a network of those family and friends which approve of your same sex relationship instead of detesting it every now and then.
- The most important aspect in successful gay couples is that both the partners are open and fearless to show or confess about their sexuality instead of hiding it from the people so as to save himself from likely remarks or comments. Freedom and inhibition are the two most liberating feelings of any gay couple.
- Every man has been brought up with a stereotypical thinking. Successful gay couples are well versed with the pitfalls of their relationship such as the power struggles and issues pertaining to their sexual orientation in the society, but they deal with these issues in a comprehensive and an integrated manner.
The Pitfalls In A Gay Romantic Relationship
Pitfalls or rough patches are a part of every relationship. But the type of these entanglements differ with the nature of any relationship. In case of a same sex relationship following are the major disadvantages:
- Every marriage is complete making it a family. Children form an essential part of a marriage. Talking with respect to the biological perspective, a gay couple are devoid of this possibility in their relationship. They cannot bear their own offspring. Thus adoption remains the only way out to increase the family. But our legal system lays down its own set of rules and regulations with regards to adoptions of children which makes a process a rough task for the gay couples.
- The amount of viral infections as a result of sexual intimacy between a gay couple is higher and can affect the reproductive organs in a negative way.
- The same sex marriages or relationships are legally unacceptable in many countries and can lead a couple to imprisonment and fines. In some religions gay connection is considered a sin.
- If the adoption of children is permitted to a gay couple, the gender role poses as a big issue or concern for the child. They thus are considered to be poor parents.
- In many countries gay couples are devoid of the benefit of becoming foster parents to a child.
- Gay relationships come with a set of health disorders such as a lower life expectancy and mental disorders.
- Even if a country allows same sex relationship, such marriages or relationships remain to be the talk of the town in many societies. The societal lack of understanding thus makes them the laughing stock.
Important Features That Make A Gay Relationship Work
There are some vital features and characteristics of every successful gay relationship such as:
- A successful gay couple believe in compromising rather than acting egoistic and dominating.
- Gay couples are usually in first relationships unlike opposite sex couples who might have had previous relationships as well.
- Gay partners understand each other’s weaknesses and strengths better than anyone else. The gender based arguments between the fairer sex and men in straight relationships is not an issue here. The intense understanding of each other’s emotional and physical aspects helps to carry forward the relationship smoothly and with lesser discords.
- Listening and communicating with patience is an important aspect of any gay relationship. It is less of a couple’s relation and more of a friendship with an interdependence and mutual approach in the relationship.
- There is no forceful imposition of decisions or dominance of any sort in a good gay relationship. The two men in a gay romantic relationship acknowledge and validate each other better.
What Leads To A Failed Gay Relationship
Like opposite sex relationships, same sex relations also have their weaknesses which if not handled wisely can lead to a broken relationship. Following are some such reasons due to which a gay relationship fails:
- The emotional part of love might not essentially be a long lasting affair with gay couples. The momentary acceptance of each other thus in the long run leads to splitting apart.
- The gay relationships are frequent victim to societal remarks which can be hurtful. These situations lead to arguments if not taken with a sporting spirit. These are the scenarios where two partners need to stand shoulder to shoulder to take the blows together.
- Owing to their societal unacceptance gay men are used to being alone. In such cases when they do get into a relationship, it is sometimes a self centred ones.
- Vulnerability is an important factor in gay relationships. The partners tend to play games with each other so as to make their partner prove their love to them every now and then. This serves to weaken the bong instead of strengthening it.
- The communication with regards to sexual expectations is not really open between gay couples and this results in unfulfilled carnal desires and further leads to a fading interest of partners in each other.
Those who think that same sex romantic desires are sin, they must realise that being straight is their sheer luck. They too might have been born with such sexual orientation. It is therefore good to be less judgmental and respectable to every human being around.