To fall in love or to develop an intense fondness for someone knows no age. But do these feelings lead to true love or rather a successful love affair in the future or is it just a teenaged infatuation or an experimentation with budding new feelings within? Much has been earlier discussed on seriousness of different aspects of relationships and romance. Here is some dwelling into the teen romance and its aspect.
Challenges and Lack of Parental Support
No adolescent ever wants to be understood, which is why they complain about being misunderstood all the time.
― Stephen Fry, Moab is my Washpot
Dating during the teen years is no more an eyebrow raising subject. Love during amongst the teen aged people isn’t actually love. It is merely a mixture of various kinds of attractions.
Serious or Just for Fun
During the onset of teen years, the children tend to experience a mixture of changes within. As a result of this there is a concoction of many different feelings which at such an age you find unsatisfying in just one relationship. That is to say that romantic excitement, sexual attraction, mutual attraction and understanding, physical affection, sense of enjoyment together give rise to a sense of caring and commitment, when in true love. This is barely expected in such early age.
The early age romance usually never leads to an ever lasting togetherness. Teens parting ways be it for studies or jobs after high schools puts an abrupt end to a love affair. Most teenage romance never go beyond high school, but some are surprisingly everlasting love affairs. The abrupt teenage breakups lead to inconsolable heart breaks and overwhelming situations of grief.
Movies, dates, and secret meetings all are special perks of teenage romance. But when it comes to take relationship to the next level, it is not that funny.
We are afraid wondering how to tell your strict parents you have a boyfriend. When you think that the time is now to talk to your parents about it, you start to shiver with only one thought in mind that how will my parents react? Are they going to accept our relationship?
Teenage romance remains unacceptable to elders even today as career building is considered the priority and the right thing for the age and not falling in love and to be distracted off the path of future development.
Is it just attraction?
It is the hormonal rush that convinces a teenager to be attached romantically with someone. It is though not an actually felt or understood feeling with respect to age. What is understood to be love is basically a mere crush on someone. Nancy Kalish’s survey on teenage love says that only about 25 percent of teenage romance desire a successful future together.
Chemistry, intimacy and commitment are the three governing aspects of any relationship. Chemistry is inexorable at early teen levels which is as a result of the biological changes in the body. Intimacy comes out of the physical and sexual attraction letting the closeness intensify between the two people. Commitment comes with the two people deciding to spend future together which doesn’t come with adolescent romance. The last aspect thus leads to heart break or emotional turmoil in the relationship.
Diseases and Abortions
Immaturity at this age leads to infatuation and a failed assumed love further results in a lowered self esteem, devastated self and depression.
Not to ignore the increased number of abortions where the statistics show an increase in the number of unexpected teenage pregnancies due to lack of seriousness and a lack of knowledge of the sexual experimentation and fulfilment.
Major relations and engagements get sidelined due to early love affairs. The two teens involved in an affair devoid themselves of any other social existence spending times together.
Teenage romance has its own set of interesting and delightful peculiarities. The most distinct feature being the false or fantasy based admittances of romantic involvement by any teen aged or adolescent boy/girl. When you fantasise or day dream a romantic relationship or a love scenario with a classmate but chose to convey it to your friends as an actual involvement, yours is a fantasy romance with your crush.
A second set of romantically involved adolescent involve the two teens who can’t live without talking all night long with each other, but are too shy or scared to reveal their affection for each other in front of their peers due to a fear of being laughed or mocked at.
The third and perhaps the funniest feature of a teenage romance is when you reveal your romantic involvement with him/her but on being confronted he/she denies any such relation with you. I am sure that must have sparked a laughter!
Adolescent love affairs are usually not accepted by the parents or elders. But the same can be achieved in one simple way. It is obvious that you and your partner meet each other almost daily and spend a quality time together. Another obvious fact being that you both date frequently too. As a result of this scenario you tend to miss out on your moments with your parents and family which in turn makes your romantic relation more agitating to them. In such a case try to plan outings together with your parents and your love interest. This wouldn’t only help you spend quality time with your family but would also help your family understand him/her and to overcome certain disagreements regarding the two of you. Remember, at your age, all your parents demand from you is to build a successful career and be financially independent and in future of course have a settled family life of your own. Having known the risks and the negative aspects of these relationships themselves, they tend to go against yours at some point every now and then.
Break ups in High School Romances
Having been discussed above, high school romances do not essentially end up in a ‘happily ever after’ manner. These are rather more difficult to be tackled than the break ups during later age-
- The emotional development and understanding of facts are usually on an onset during teen years. An indulgence in romantic relation which has no basis but a crush or infatuation leads to sudden calling off and thus worst emotional disheartenment.
- Due to a lack of understanding on how to tackle such a scenario, high school break ups are more hurtful leaving both or one of the partners helpless and betrayed.
- What starts in adolescent never leaves the mental periphery of the two involved. Even in the future the previous romances or love interests or breakups of high school tend to inevitably haunt back giving nothing but sadness.
If you are a high school student and are too fascinated by the romantic movies or stories around as to be involved yourself in one, be responsible to face any kinds of reciprocations good or bad that it would bring along.
The hardest thing about adolescence is that everything seems too big. There’s no way to get context or perspective, ….. Pain and joy without limits. No one can live like that forever, so experience finally comes to our rescue. We come to know what we can endure, and also that nothing endures.
― Sara Paretsky, Bleeding Kansas