“A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other…Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever”
― Dave Matthews Band
Romance doesn’t always end up in love. More than half of the youth population has either been into or is in some random uncertain kind of a romance. We have debated and discussed over the issues pertaining to relationships in the earlier articles. This one is something you would be able to relate your past or present experience with, the workplace romance.
What Is a Workplace Romance?
Everyone of us is well aware of the fact that we are living in a fast growing times leaving behind a much slower era. Where men and women are after building a successful career with such a determination the financial security has scored over relationships. None of us have time for a long term commitment. At a workplace where men and women work together on daily basis, it is natural to develop a mutual attraction towards your colleague. But in some rare cases, romance at work does lead to committed relationships surprisingly.
There are three kinds of romances at any workplace-
- Random romance- When two people at the same working area are involved intimately with each other but without intentions to commit into a long term relation, it’s termed random romance. There is no emotional attachment in such a romance and it is more like one night stand hook ups or casual flings.
- Serious Romance- True love hasn’t died. A person doesn’t necessarily finds his/her beloved at some exotic location or a café. A workplace sometimes is a place where random romances have turned into serious romantic relationships with commitments for future.
- Extra-marital affairs- Many people think that what begins at office stays in office and as a result of this even married men/women tend to get romantically intimate with their colleagues shunning the marital boundaries. This results in many divorces and marital discords too.
“I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.”
― Lisa Kleypas, Blue-Eyed Devil
Why Not To Go Ahead With Office Romance?
Romance at the office could be fun and sound adventurous in its own way. It can make a rather boring job and atmosphere at your office turn interesting for you and you would end up looking forward to going to your office regularly without fail. But it carries its own set of hurdles:
- In a workplace where a bunch of people work together, it is not only difficult but impossible to stay discreet about your romantic hook up with some colleague. The news flies and everyone gets a hunch. So your romance would remain an obtrusive and a conspicuous issue.
- Your romantic partner’s casual conversations with other colleagues too can make you emotionally hurt or annoyed at him/her. Even a formal physical contact would begin to bother you.
- With your beau around you all the time, distractions at work are bound to happen regardless of your seriousness with work.
- Everyone needs some personal space or a breather, but being together all the time at a workplace would devoid you of any such time with yourself. You might land up in a desperate need of a break.
- Lastly, not to forget that many companies now a days employ professionals with agreements signed which refrains any employee from getting involved in any romantic relationship with any colleague in the office. It is believed that romance at work can complicate the positive business developments.
Advantages Of Romance At The Workplace
Having discussed the reasons for not getting into romance at work, let’s ponder over some viewpoints which support and advocate the positive side of romance at the workplace:
- If you miss your beau every now and then, you can deliberately bump into each other for a so called ‘hello’.
- Sometimes situations can be turned exciting. You can sneak in for a quick hug or a kiss when no one’s around or no one’s looking at you. Not to mention you two can at times go out of the way to explore some sexual fantasies! These incidences serve to strengthen your bond on a personal level too.
- There are sometimes hard days in office too, an argument with your boss, or a work load with some help required. In such a case, your romantic partner is surely going to be a shoulder you can lean on!
- However monotonous your workplace might be, you would end up being a regular attendee since it’s perhaps the most riveting place to be for you. Interesting, right?
When Workplace Romance Turns Awry
An agreement being signed for one self’s non-involvement in any romantic affairs post employment in certain firm, people do get hitched at office. The worst case scenario is when a married man or woman gets knotty into an adulterous relationship with a co-worker. Following are the ways in which such a romance or a case of infidelity can turn into disaster:
- When you are happily married but are involved in an explicit relationship with your colleague. You don’t mind hugging him/her in public or in front of other co-workers.
- Your moral image suffers amongst those at office who are well aware of your marital status.
- Too much romance at work hugely affects work as well as your assessment.
- Information and news never take time to take rounds, your adulterous involvement might do the rounds soon and reach your spouse as well. It’s best to put a halt to such an involvement rather than face humiliation and discords with your spouse accompanied by later serious implications of your doings, such as separation, divorce, societal embarrassment etc.
Things To Consider For Romance At Your Office
If you are seriously considering leaping the boundaries of romance at work, then the points below are worth consideration-
- Do you think it is wise to mingle work with pleasure?
- Are you both already in a relationship outside office or are you two singles? If single, do you think you both can carry forward the romance outside the office walls too, on a serious note?
- Is the romantic entanglement with the consent of both of you or is it being forced upon you? Remember, a forced romantic behaviour or inappropriate gestures at work from your senior is not an affair but a case of harassment at work.
- Are your flirtatious acts with each other taken as a positive act but both of you?
- If your relationship tends to break up and come to an end abruptly, how would you tend to react?
- Does your romantic escapes at work or any such involvements affect your work performance in any way?
- If you are married, do you think your romantic relationship is acceptable on moral grounds? Are you aware of the disastrous consequences it would bring in your personal life?
- Does your office administration gives you a right to get romantically involved with any colleague while at work?
When Flirtations turn into harassments
At a work place people come from various backgrounds and different regions an interests. You might find yourself sharing some of your hobbies and interests with any of your colleague which deliberately or unknowingly might develop an emotional attachment between the two people. Such an attachment can very well be a friendly one most of the times, but might turn more than friendly in some situations.
Situations arise at a workplace when your senior or a colleague is flirtatious in his/her acts towards you. Don’t ignore the advances in such cases. Any physical advancement towards you without your consent or liking is termed as physical harassment and molestation. If you have been facing any such situations or verbal abuse, derogatory remarks or casually addressed inappropriate epithets, then, this is a serious matter and needs to be reported legally for your own good.
Not to forget, every romance doesn’t end happily, some end in heart breaks and the abrupt office romances are one of those which end without a warning. Be fair with yourself and judge the situations, whether or not it favourable to go ahead with office romance.