We have discussed breakups and moving on but as break up in a relationship is one of the most painful feelings. The whole world seems to have collapsed right in front of us. There are so many emotions running through in our mind. However, the emotion that prevails over all these emotions is the feeling of depression and being cheated. There is a surge in negative emotions straightaway. And if all this happens in public then the situation gets even worse.
When a break up is known publicly then everyone is talking about the break up and the rumours are being spread in the air. This ultimately increases the intensity of our feeling. A small question is likely to offend us and leave us in a void for a long time. However, prudence must prevail in such situation as the media and public is involved in such cases. The tough time is definitely going to pass but what should be remembered is that the harsh and tough comments made at this time are likely to cause more harm than the break up itself.
So, there are some things which must be kept in mind in order to avoid portraying a negative image of ours in the public. These things will also ensure that we get the most sought after relief after the disastrous experience of breaking up.
Embracing and Facing the Whole Situation: The first step in case of a break up is to face it. One must understand what has happened to him or her. Howsoever emotional the tie had been but rationale must prevail at the end of the day. Nothing is permanent and this thing should form the basic fundamental thought when one is experiencing the painful pangs of break up. One must show enough courage to face the whole situation bravely. For icons and public figures it becomes imperative to remain steely as they are likely to be put forth a lot of tricky questions which are going to check their emotional maturity. So, it is totally understood that pain is likely to be felt after the painful process of break up is experienced however prudence and discretion should always be the guiding force in such a critical situation.
Planning the Responses: The next important step is to plan in advance the responses that have to be given to the eager public. One must brace oneself for facing the hostile and tricky media and public whose main emotion might not be empathetic at all. They may be trying to know about the break up earnestly but there are more chances that they are on a lookout for a spicy story. So, one must plan the responses that one is likely to provide to the fervent public. There must be a through preparation on what questions can be asked and thus responses to those common questions must be prepared in advance.
No Overreacting: This is one of the prime things that have to be kept in mind especially when the public is involved. Some uneasy and uncomforting questions are likely to be asked which are going to prod and poke one’s personal life. The main motive of these questions is to lay bare the personal life of a person in order to amass more traffic to the story. Off course there is bound to be that spice element inclusion in such stories. However, it must be understood that one’s personal affair is just another story for the public and the media. They are trying hard to dig in you just to ensure that they get the best bite. However, one must not overreact to any question or queries.
Maintaining Composure: This is absolutely essential element when it comes to dealing with a break up. Composing oneself is one of the pivotal things that are required to brace everything with valour. One must now show the uneasiness and discomposure that one is feeling from within.
Simply put, one is likely to feel heartbroken and this condition can be equated with a broken mirror. However, the outside reaction should be of calmness and composure. No one should be able to dig deep and find out the most intimate and private emotions of a person. They are meant to be kept secret and private howsoever hard the grilling may come from the public.
Avoid Mud-slinging and abusing: The next important thing after the public break up is that one should avoid abusing the partner who has just left. Mud-slinging and abusing is just going to give one more trouble. It is like playing with the mud and expecting that we are going to remain clean. The answer is big no as one is going to experience the same reaction from the other side. This is going to aggravate and worsen the already precarious situation and there is no fun doing all this. Patch up is out of the equation anyway and this is surely not the way out to the situation one is stuck in.
Avoid clarifying or divulging any information: One cautious that one has to exercise is that one should keep away from divulging any facts, information, or snippets of one’s personal life and shared experience. This has never been a solution to anything. Revealing personal life is going to give more harm anyways. One should avoid clarifying anything as well. What has happened is a thing of the past. There is no need to clarify anything to anyone. One’s conscience must remain clear and that is the only thing one must focus upon.
Stay away from Social Media for a While: One must avoid sharing things and the most intimate and sad thoughts that are crossing the mind after the break up on facebook or other such social media websites. The whole scenario is going to change in the future however one is likely to be made scapegoat for the comments and status one updates at this time. Staying away from the social media for a while appears to be a better option as one may be tempted to vent out the pent up feelings on social networking sites. Exercising control over oneself in such a situation is challenging but essential. So, stay away from social media.
Live in Present- Let it Go: One must ensure that the residual emotions of the breakup are never allowed to sow the seeds of any emotional disturbance in a person. One must be flexible enough to let go what has happened. Without brooding about what happened, who was at fault, etc. one should live in the present. Thinking about the past and the relationship is going to give more pain. Above all there is no benefit out of it now. So, one must make a move and avoid thinking about the memories, etc. that one shared with the partner.
A famous quote by Guy Finley is worth mentioning in this situation, “Nothing in this universe can stop you from letting go and starting over.” Thus, a determined effort must be made in order to move out of this situation and start over again.
Stay Positive: One must learn to stay positive in all the adverse situation. In this situation too one must think about positive things and never feel depressed. Thinking about the loss and falling in despair are the indications of being overpowered by negative ideas.
One enlightening saying by Joseph Campbell is definitely going to inspire one as he says, “We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”
So, we must be willing to embrace everything with positive thoughts and move ahead in anticipation of the good times in future.
Connect with your old Mate: This is the time one needs a healing touch from someone who knows him inside out. That someone special who is there for the sake of friendship and who is there with no ulterior motive in mind. Just pour your heart out, share all the things that are crossing your mind. You are going to get the best advice from your pal and he is sure to give you a new lease of life. So, connect to your old mates as soon as possible to face the whole situation strongly.
Connect with nature: This is high time that one snaps the links with media, social media, etc. and just comes in the lap of the nature. Nature has so much healing power that it is going to revitalise and rejuvenate one. All this experience is going to prove so beneficial for coping with stress and handling the break up in a positive way.
Venture into new endeavours: The whole world is there with a plethora of opportunities and challenges. One must gear up to launch oneself in new endeavours. One must never let his passion bogged down by the situation and keep on striving hard to try new and exciting things. One must locate his interest and start doing things which make one happy. These endeavours will divert the attention and focus of the individuals and they are likely to get immersed in the world of adventure and fun rather than brooding about the painful break up.