Relationships need nurturing, compromises and adjustments; the string once broken is unmendable.
Falling in love and committing to be with him/her forever might be the easiest thing, it is the carrying on of that relation successfully that matters. In the past articles much has been discussed on the subject of various facets of a couple’s relation. This write up emphasises upon the factor which are responsible for gradually taking a relation from good to bad to worse and surprisingly, he/she is not aware of such budding reasons.
Proposal – Commitment
A heart’s extensive liking for someone is governed by the psychology of attraction. Why do we like someone so much that we decide upon spending our whole life with him/her? The subject might seem a little complex for our understanding, but the following facts might open the doors to a simpler analysis of this:
- Behavioural similarities- If you find attracted towards that guy you have been conversing with on some random occasions, then don’t be surprised! It’s most likely your recognition of his nature and likes or dislikes going hand in hand with yours. As a result of which you tend to feel inclined towards him which soon turns into an attraction, perhaps mutual.
- Humour- A strong sense of humour is always attractive both for a man and for a woman.
- Comfort zone- Everyone has some comfort zone. When in the initial stages of knowing one another, it is important to give eachother some space or to respect eachother’s area of comfort. When this is done and felt by one another, it surely promises attraction.
- Being honest- It is vital for any relation to be pursued honestly. And making up behaviour to please someone is never long lasting. How true you are being about yourself while with her really shows up crystal clear in your dialogues and acts. It is known that a woman finds honesty as the most attractive trait in a guy she would fall for.
Various events gradually lead to a couple from friendship to liking eachother and soon the commitment. But not all are aware that the main definition of a relation begins on the onset of commitment! It is then that one’s understanding of the relation comes into light.
Relationships – Post Commitment/Marriage
Not every relation is a fairy tale. Infact, it really takes a lot of efforts and understanding to make it beautiful Usually, after committing into a relation, the two people are more busy in one consideration, i.e. fulfilment of expectations. Pre commitment promises raise the post commitment expectations. But it is very important to understand that presuppositions really need to be put in the back seat. Three faces of a relation after marriage or allegiance are:
- A successful relation with equal efforts from the counterparts– When both man and the woman in a relationship endeavour to put te essence of adjustment and compromises in the relation, it is bound to be success.
- A successful relation with efforts from one of the counterparts- Taking your counterpart for granted could perhaps be a big mistake. Not that it would end your relationship, but it puts an extensive pressure of continual giving ins and forced or unaccepted one sided innurements on him/her. This might keep the relation steady and roses for the outer world, but it is not really hunky dory inside.
- A failed relations due to zero struggle to keep the relationship steady– Ego clashes and over expectations govern the failed relationships. When the two people in a relation disagree continually on everything, it raises arguments and thus slowly gears up the separation.
How Do Relationships Fail? – Signs
No relationship fails instantly. It takes a lot of reasons to weaken a relation and astonishingly, not every time the victims are aware of what is coming ahead for them. Things develop slowly and eventually take a leap to make it worse in a relationship. Following are some of the facts you might want to ponder upon:
- Disagreement- A difference of opinion or a debate in a good sense is healthy for a relation. But the same distinct outlooks or perceptions can lead to arguments. There is nothing bad in respecting your counterpart’s stance of a certain subject in discussion. But when there is an overpowering of self perceptions on him/her, there is bound to be egocentric arguments. And worst of it is that such instances become a regular practice leading to the doom of te relation.
- Lack of Tolerance- When you feel that it’s becoming tougher to be around each other, it means you need to check on your relationship. Uncontrolled negative thoughts evoking when your spouse is around you suggests that your relation demands repairs. For a healthy relation, your partner’s thought must not deflate your mood, it should rather be cheering you up!
- Fading Understanding- When you lose a comprehension of each other, the appreciation for each other dies too. As a result of which the physical, emotional as well as mental distance between the two people in relation starts increasing. When the soul mates become strangers, it’s time to refurbish the most important aspect, understanding!
- Disinterestedness- Do you don’t feel attracted towards each other lately? The absence of a want of each other is a serious set back in any relation. At such a stage you would find yourself searching for chances to avoid each other’s company rather than to wish for the same.
- No Romance- Apart from the emotional closeness, a relationship demands physical togetherness too. Romance needs to be rekindled in any couple’s relationship. Whether you go for a drive together or dinners, every small step taken to be together counts to bring things back on track. Escape, not from each other but with each other, and see the lost romance blooming again.
How To Bring The Romance Back In Relationship?
Dwindling romance is not uncommon. It exists in all the couple relationships. But no doubt it needs to be fuelled with some spiced up ways. Here are some promising ways to bring that lost spark back into the groove:
- Togetherness- Take some good amount of time out with your better half. Trekking on a lovely Sunday morning, dining out in your favourite restaurant, pleasing each other with gifts are some of the must try ideas.
- If you have been sleeping apart, then it’s time to come a little closer! Actually start sleeping close with each other and see the wonders it does to your declining romance.
- Who said dating is meant for courtship period! Start dating just like old times and see for yourself that the time was never a past. Dating helps to remind you of all the reasons you fell for each other, the beautiful reasons for your commitment to each other.
- Arguments happen in every relation. Both counterparts must speak and present their respective views. But it is important to keep two things into consideration, firstly, be polite when expressing yourself even if it is to counter your partner’s opinion. Secondly, be courteous enough to respect what your partner opines about the subject in discussion.
- If you didn’t realize this before, then here is to tell you that there are not one, two but numerous ways to spice up your bedroom life! Add a hint of playful pleasure with some adult toys to your intimate sessions. A little laughter, some tickles, some teasing and lots love are going to together set the fire of lust and love on a high! So what’s the waiting for?
- Believe it or not, but shower time could really be turned into a dirty shower time! Get sensual in the bathroom, an shower together! See the magic begin with bonding in the bathroom!
- Plan a honeymoon holiday! What’s better than a romantic holiday, just like you did when you got hooked up!
- Surprises can be fun. Astonish your beloved with flowers without any occasion, or a movie, or a spa and returns are really going to surprise you.
- What about doing some random crazy stuff! Text each other with some intimate messages whether you are apart or right besides each other. Acting ridiculous together can really be the real fun at times.
Relationships, whether love or marriage are really meant to be nurtured with the manure of trust, faith, love and affection. And these come with togetherness. A one sided approach cannot take the relation too far. Step onto the path of mending your broken relation and relish the wonders of the mentioned ways above. It’s never too late to try and bring back the real romantic hours into a relation and make it the strongest and everlasting ones ever.
Every couple has ups and downs, every couple argues, and that’s the thing—you’re a couple, and couples can’t function without trust.
-Nicholas Sparks,At First Sight