Hello people! We have talked about the effective way of terminating a bad relationship and even the ways to save a relationship. But ever wondered, what leads to disharmony in a relationship or if its time to terminate it? Every relationship gives off warning signs before reaching the point of no return. It is important to identify these immediately so that you can take measures to rectify the situation. By remaining aware of the marriage situation, you’ll be able to decide when the time comes, whether you want to stay together or simply go your separate ways.
When Does Disharmony in a Marriage Begin?
When you are staying together and sharing everything in the limited space, time to time frictions intentions are quite natural. Fighting and arguments are healthy and if you are not doing it than there is something wrong with your marriage as most consultants caution. After all, both of have, separate upbringings, culture, environment and background so compromise becomes a necessity. Problems occur when fighting and bickering becomes a constant feature and dissatisfaction levels skyrocket. That’s when disharmony in a marriage begins.
- Issues concerning children: Many times young children who are such a source of joy for the parents become instrumental in starting marital discord. Diet, discipline, and various parenting issues can prove to be the main reasons for disagreement. Studies show that they become serious stressors as different beliefs regarding childrearing leads to disharmony.
- Sex and marriage: Sex on one hand becomes instrumental in bringing couple close to each other in an intimate relationship but on the other is also one of the strong reasons behind the beginning of disharmony. Concerns related to quality, frequency, quantity, and infidelity are some of the main issues that make partners bicker with each other or feel dissatisfied in a relationship.
- Spending much time apart: Distances do not make heart grow fonder it brings trouble in the marriage instead. Even when you are forced to spend hours or days away from each other if you are not making an effort to be together whenever possible in a quality setting, this can be a strong reason for disharmony. When something like this happens, it reflects underlying serious issues that you need to confront if you want your relationship to work.
- Sharing of household responsibilities: Marital relationships are all about sharing in every front possible and this includes household responsibilities. If the husband or the wife is too busy with their careers and do not have time to help with chores around the house the spouse doing everything is going to feel dissatisfied sooner than later. In case you let this problem fester for too long it will be the beginning of disharmony souring the sense of togetherness.
- Discord related to friendships: Some friendships may lead to disharmony and cause the ruin of an otherwise successful marriage. Your spouse may not want you to spend too much time with a certain person or someone may simply prove to be toxic for your relationship. It is important to identify such problematic issues from the beginning before they get a chance to fester and cause marital problems.
- Personal irritating habits: There may be certain behavioral traits or habits of a spouse that another one may not like. If you are not willing to change then it may also initiate disharmony in marriage.
Why is the requirement to end the marriage immediate?
You may sometimes reach that point in a relationship when you say to yourself, ‘I cannot stay a single second with this man or woman again in my life’. Too bad when you are forced to consider this when married to someone. However, instead of staying in a relationship gone sour and making life miserable for each other it is better to consider an immediate end so that each of you can get on with the rest of your lives in peace. So when do such situations happen? What are the main reasons behind the requirement to separate?
- You do not talk with each other anymore: If you feel that, you are not communicating with your spouse for ages without any obvious discomfort then surely something has gone horribly wrong. Is the husband or wife spending nights away from home in the company of pals instead of love talks you used to have through the night? Do you feel like a dinosaur that no longer exists for your spouse? Instead of living your days and nights in an emotional roller-coaster getting out seems to be preferable in such a case.
- You do not see yourselves together as a couple: There may come a time in a relationship when used simply do not see yourself and your spouse living together any more. You are simply living separate lives away from each other. For example, both of you may have planned a romantic outing and suddenly when the time came to bring this plan into motion one of you prefer to bow out instead. Also, in cases where one or both of you feels squeamish about planning. Whether it is regarding purchase of a house or having kids, you are not interested. If you have been ignoring something important for too long it’s time to confront the situation and end the relationship immediately without letting it go to pot by itself.
- You are constantly playing a war game: In case your relationship has come down only to a match of hurling insults at each other, constant competitions, or rude remarks something has horribly gone wrong. Earlier it used to be only little things that caused botheration but now it has turned into full-fledged and colossal case of aggravations. Do you feel that everything that you do is annoying him or her? Is there a constant case of nitpicking or belittling each other every chance one gets? Then instead of staying together any longer, it shows the requirement to separate or immediately end the marriage without further ado.
- You do not trust your spouse: Strong relationships are based upon mutual trust and respect so if this is not happening in your marriage than there is something extremely wrong. Are you living in constant doubts regarding the late night outs of your spouse? Do you refuse to believe every explanation he/she throws at you? Do you feel that there is a constant lack of transparency in your relationship? Are these worries affecting your health and mental well-being? Why stay in such a toxic marriage any longer when you are better off without each other? End this farce immediately!
Are you sure, you want to divorce?
Do you feel you are ready to call it quits, but still are not sure about final decision-making? If it is possible to salvage your relationship, do it because otherwise you will be the more miserable later then you are at present. Maybe you feel tired now in the aftermath of the constant fights, unkindness, and the coldness but it may just be a phase with distinct possibilities remaining if you give your marriage a chance. So before you blow the final whistle ask yourself are you sure, you want to divorce? Have you done everything possible to no avail or maybe some things remain that can make all the difference?
- Talk it out with your partner
Discussions and spelling it all out in clear terms may not only give you a chance to lighten up your mental baggage but also provide your marriage the lease of life it requires. Maybe, your spouse is simply living in ignorance regarding your problems and you never could explain your problem is clearly. A willing partner will go to a distinct length to make this work out for both of you putting an end to the need for divorce permanently.
- Try to turn into the man or woman (within reason) your spouse wants
Marriage is another name for compromises from both the concerned parties. You give a degree of leeway and your partner will do it too. This way it becomes possible to make marriages work successfully. If you are finding yourself on the brink of divorce, just because certain character traits are habits required changing it is better to give it a try provided you believe in this marriage. Come out of your safety net to try something new. Who knows, maybe it will change the whole course of your life.
- Spice up your relationship
Rediscover sex and romance in your relationship to make your marriage work and stay together for the rest of your lives. Sometimes, marital relationships come to a stalemate simply because the zing has been missing for some time. Just put some effort complete with candlelight dinners, exchange of gifts, or try something new in bed. The physical side of the marriage may not be everything, but it surely it is one of the crucial part of making it work.
- Get a neutral perspective from someone you believe in
Many times, you may not see things, which are obvious about your relationships that others may know. It pays to get neutral perspective regarding yourself, your spouse, and your marriage as a whole from someone who knows both of you. Your relationship will benefit from a fresh pair of eyes and critical observations. They may give you suggestions regarding crucial changes that can improve marital interactions and ultimately save your marriage.
- Go for trial separations-the last resort
Even trial separations can make you realize the importance of your partner in your life and ultimately you may think about reworking on your relationship. Through separation and you will get a taste of life without your spouse, even if temporarily you will get a better perspec-tive regarding your marriage.