How To Get A Date

Kissing Young coupleI’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love!

Carrie Bradshaw – Sex and the City

Do you look for that kind of love?  Do you think it is just a fairytale?  Maybe you feel you need to settle with anyone with the same goals that you have.  Whether you are looking for that Carrie Bradshaw type or just someone you can feel comfortable with, it is out there.  Believe it.  You just need to know where to look and how to get it.

With today’s society linking their minds, bodies and souls to the internet and having to rifle through social website after Internet datingsocial website and fake profile after fake profile, it’s no wonder why we are so disheartened about finding that one true love.  But hey, it’s better than the bar scene right?  For now, let’s step back.  Let’s work on getting that first date.

1.  Goal.  Know what your goal is and fulfill that goal.  Don’t settle for someone who almost fits or could possibly be molded into that someone you desire.

2.  Confidence!  This is a huge factor in making a good impression as well as becoming aware of your surroundings.  Be confident but be yourself.  Hold your head up, make direct eye contact with others, be sure to have a firm hand shake when meeting someone and smile.  These attributes will cause others to want to be around you.

If you have issues with your confidence level try surrounding yourself with self-assured and assertive people, pictures and music at home, at work and wherever you spend your time.  This will help boost your own confidence.

3.  Be Yourself.  Don’t try to be someone or something that you are not.    Stay honest and don’t lie.  When you begin a relationship on a lie, you’ll never have that true connection you need to feel fulfilled.  The more fake you are, the more transparent you’ll be later.  If you aren’t ‘you’ when they get to know you then you’re only cheating yourself out of a good relationship.  Getting caught in a lie is so very unattractive.

4.  Don’t Be Cocky.  You can take the best looking person in the place and they will lose points quickly if they are cocky and conceded about themselves.  Confidence is a big turn on but being cocky is a definite no-no.

5.  Look Good.  Always try to look your best.  Throwing on a pair of sweat pants just to run to the store may be the one time you run into someone you want to get to know.   I’m not suggesting you need to do a complete make over just to pick up a loaf of bread and a gallon of milk, but looking presentable will not only make you feel good about yourself but it will give others the impression that you take care of yourself and you are the type of person who likes to look good at all times.

Messy GuyTake a look at your overall appearance.  Put some time and effort into what you wear.  That age old saying that “the clothes make the man” is true.  If you dress to impress, you will.  If you dress in yesterdays t-shirt with the mustard stain on the front and a pair of your favorite greasy jeans, chances are you’re not going to get a second look.  Take pride in how you take care of your hair.  Spend a little money at a good salon.  You’re worth it.  How do your teeth look?  Believe it or not, teeth can be a deal breaker even for the most beautiful of people.  A good dentist is well worth if for a winning smile.

6. Surroundings.  Be aware of what is around you.  When you are out and about look around, make eye contact, smile.  Don’t walk with your head down or bury your self into the world of Facebook or game apps on your phone.  If you’re absorbed in the latest game of Angry Birds you’re not going to see that ‘made-for-you’ person almost run into you in the parking lot at the mall or as you sit there in the coffee shop sipping your latte.  Be mindful of what and who is around you at all times.

Go someplace you are comfortable with.  Your surroundings are a big part of getting where you want to be.  If you are uncomfortable with where you are it will show in your confidence and in your ability to impress.

Hold an aura around you that exudes positive energy and a happiness others will want to be a part of.

7. Don’t Ever Assume Anything.  Many people lose out on the best opportunities because they assume something is one way merely by their first impressions or by the way something is perceived.  If you see a woman who is absolutely beautiful and you think there could be something there, don’t assume she is untouchable.  Maybe other men have this same impression and therefore she never gets asked out.  Don’t assume you have no chance.  You may be just what she is looking for.  If you ask and she says no, at least you know for sure.  If you don’t ask you’ll never know.

The same idea applies to a woman who is not so attractive to the eye.  There are millions of beautiful people out there on the inside as well as on the outside.  I personally know some extremely amazing people who aren’t the best looking but are exciting to be around.  Don’t be a snob and give it a chance.

8.  Be Interesting.  No matter who you meet or where you go there is always conversation.  Keep up on current events and find out what interests them.  Don’t try to be a know-it-all but getting to know what they like will give you an idea what to talk about the next time you get together.  Do your research and give them something worth while to talk about with you.

Be mindful in the way conversation is going.  If things are getting controversial when talking politics, for example, perhaps it is time to change the subject.  Learn when to prove your point to win over the conversation and when to let them lead the conversation the way they want it to go.

If you find yourself struggling with keeping their interest and you are beginning to feel frustration then perhaps this person is not the one you are looking for.  Be the bigger person, stop trying so hard, politely thank them for their company and walk away.

9.  Be The One.  Be that woman he wants to be with forever, not that woman he wants to be with tonight.  This goes with the way you dress and the way you present yourself.  Don’t be too provocative.  This gives the message you’re just looking for a good time or that you are only good for one thing.  Show them you are a well rounded person in your mind as well as the way you look.  Don’t be too boring.  Dress to impress and fill your mind with things that would interest them.  If this becomes too much of a chore then maybe this person is not for you.  You cannot overwhelm yourself trying to become the perfect person for them if you have nothing at all in common.

Romantic couple with flowers10.  Persistence.  This is a double edged sword and needs to be dealt with carefully.  Persistence can be sexy.  Showing them that you are so interested in them that you won’t take ‘no’ for an answer can persuade them to give you that chance they weren’t going to give you at first attempt.  Use your persistence with confidence (NOT COCKINESS).  There is a huge distinction between the two and knowing this can be the difference between being someone worthy of taking a chance on or making you look like a complete buffoon who needs to get over themselves.

11.  Show interest in him/her.  Look into their eyes.  Ask questions about them and be genuinely interested.  Be sure conversation does not continuously get directed about you and what you want or like.  Basically, don’t talk about yourself all the time.

12. No Drama.  Don’t be negative.  Don’t talk down about others and don’t pour your troubles all over the table in front of you.  This may be something you can do once you get to know the other person better and a relationship is established, but keep it in your mind that the other person wants someone fun to be around.  They want someone they are going to want to spend the rest of their lives with and a person who is constantly talking about problems and issues is probably not going to have that chance.

Take these attributes into consideration when going out there and looking for that perfect someone.  You’ll be surprise at how differently you look at things and how differently others will look at you.  Confidence, having a goal, being interesting, looking the part and keeping the drama to yourself will all contribute to a better you, a more beautiful you.



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