Is your partner too demanding?
As we discussed moving on or terminating a stressful relationship in our last article. How ever, sometimes terminating is not always an option. So for such scenarios lets talk about stress management in relationships. Different people have different opinions and it is very natural that a clash of ideas can be seen among the people who are involved in a relationship. However, the real problem starts when petty and insignificant issues are blown out of proportion and they start affecting the health. Stress in a relationship doesn’t augur well for the health and well being of an individual and is likely to have adverse detrimental affects both on the relationship and the health of the people involved in the relationship. So, it becomes absolutely essential to eliminate the causes of stress by proper identification. Simple steps can ensure that the relationship stress is managed properly.
Locating the Cause of Stress:
Prior to finding the solution or management of stress in a relationship the preliminary step is to locate the cause of the stress. Stress may be out of the following different causes:
Negative Assumption: This is the foremost cause of stress as the couple involved in the relationship tend to form negative assumption from their own side. The actual situation might be completely different. This is just the outcome of continuous negative thoughts building up in the mind of a person regarding the other person.
Constant Nagging: This is the perfect example of seemingly small and unimportant things growing in proportion. Without exaggerating it can be said that this is one of the main causes of stress among the couple. What starts as a petty thing ends up in heavy arguments against each other.
Ego Problem: Some individuals cannot live with others simply because of their ego. They are not able to bend or adjust and just try to exert their own individuality which makes the matter worst.
Communication Gap: Communication gap is also a major factor which may affect the relationship. Small errors in communication can cause stress among the individuals to such an extent that they are filled with negativity and disrespect for the other person
Busy Life: Spending little time with each other may also cause stress. This is because the person might lose trust or think that he is insignificant in the life of the person who keeps out most of the time and doesn’t come home regularly. This ultimately leads to harbouring of unconstructive thoughts.
What to do after realization?
Finding Solutions: This is the second step in the management of relationship stress which includes:
Confronting the Problem Rather than avoiding talking About it: This is the basic thing that one needs to understand in a relationship that nothing is achieved from evading the problem. If something is causing stress then it needs to be addressed as soon as possible. One should always be ready to
Face the situation
Talk about it
Find solutions in order to diffuse the problem
Stay Connected: This is one of the most natural solutions to managing stress. One gains more trust in the other by spending more time with each other and staying connected. This gives a better understanding of each other and goes a long way in ensuring that there is little scope for any miscommunication or false image portrayal.
Admitting Mistakes: It has been noticed in the clashes that occur that no one is ready to take admit the mistakes. Even if the person is wrong they never admit it. Such a thing gives rise to more clashes and more stress as the other person believes that he is being befooled. This leads to a feeling of being cheated and neglected as well as the other person is paying no heeds to the feelings of the person. If a person hurts other by his harsh words or actions then there is no harm in admitting the mistakes. A very small word called sorry has a great magnitude and means a lot when it comes to managing the relationships and avoiding stress. The person who apologizes feels so relaxed after admitting that he was at wrong. A whole load of weight seems to have been lifted off him in an instant.
Forgiveness: One of the most important qualities to possess is of forgiveness. “TO Forgive is Divine” is a commonly known phrase written by Alexander Pope. This phrase is relevant in today’s context as well. Humans are fallible and they are prone to makes mistakes. However, there should always be the quality of forgiveness in the other person so as to give the other person chances for improvement. Forgiving someone shows the noble side of a person. There is no doubt that that person might have suffered because of the wrong done to him, but the act of forgiving is dignified and gracious which ensures that all the stress is eliminated within a flash. The bitterness in the relationship vanishes straightaway as the person forgives and forgets and is all set to make a new beginning.
Making Conscious Efforts to Build Relation: The relationship building is a very challenging task if one the people involved in the relationship have varied opinions. The relationship stress is bound to occur in such a situation. However, both the persons who are involved in the relationship should make concerned efforts to build their relationship. In this regard they should do the following things:
Listening to the partner: The foremost thing in any relationship is to listen to what other person has to say. There should be no jumping to conclusions and negative assessments until one has listened to what the partner has to say. The partner should listen carefully to the person who is speaking in order to avoid any communication gap. This will eliminate stress as there will be no wrong interpretations in this.
Comforting the Partner: The next effort which can be done in building relationship is to comfort the partner. The partner should be made to realize that he/she is the most valuable and cherished person in the whole world. Even if there is any kind of negative image formation, etc. in the mind of the person he should be comforted by the other partner by ensuring him that everything is fine between them.
Providing Support: It is observed that the relationship don’t grow effectively and die out of the suffocation of stress because of the perceived lack of support for each other. The couple feels insecure while living with each other. They feel incapable of handling some situations, etc. All this causes stress to them as they start to garner wrong thoughts about the partner. In this situation if the partner is provided full support then there is very little scope of such insecurity to grow
Setting aside the Ego Factor: Ego is the worst evil one can be affected with. Living in a relationship entails understanding the other person as well. There can never be a one way communication. The other person has to be listened to. The ego of a person should never come in between the relationship. In this regards the person has to ensure that he/she sheds the false ego and understand the importance of the true relationship. This removal of ego factor will remove the stress considerably from a person’s life.
Being Pragmatic: One has to always act prudently. Some things are beyond anyone’s control so those things cannot be allowed to scale in proportion and affect the health by causing stress. So, one has to make determined efforts to just forget about those things which have no solution. This is called adapting to the situation.
Avoid being Biased: Sometimes a person just has a biased approach that comes with preconceived notions about the things. Such kind of biased attitude always causes obstacles in the smooth run of any relation is the major cause of any relationship stress. So, a person should realise that he is being biased and that it is the main cause of stress. After this has been understood there should be exemplary show of behaviour which is practical and unbiased.
Never Controlling the Other: This has been found out to be the one of the leading cause of stress among the couple. Most of the couple are seen trying to dominate the other. In the male dominated societies males are seen dominating the women instead of understanding or listening to them. This causes stress among the female partner as they believe that they are being remote-controlled by their partner. The situation and the scenario is fatal for the relationship overall. The male partner or the dominating partner has to understand that there is simply no benefit of being so imposing. Ultimately the relationship is run by mutual trust and faith. However, the dominating factor is the enemy of trust and faith both. The couple should give respect to each other’s ideas and should never ridicule others.