“The most painful tears are the ones shed for a person you thought would never hurt or lie to you,those are the ones that only you can see, on the other side of the mirror,only you know the feeling,when your soul weeps and your only comfort is knowing that God is counting those tears and accepts them as special prayers.”
― Michael Hayssus
Getting hurt in love is rarely a voluntary act by one partner towards the other. Sometimes situations are responsible for the hurt in love and at times it is out of wrath. Unlike our topics of discussions so far where we dealt with various issues that a couple face in a committed relationship or marriage, here is some scrutinizing into the various ways a couple hurt each other deliberately or undeliberately. But relationships are meant for making up when they are on the path of breaking or hurtful situations for either of the partners.
How Do Couple Hurt Each Other In Love
As has always been indicated in our articles that no relationship whether romantic or not stands devoid of any obstacles, let us see a different aspect of these troubled periods. Following are the ways two people in love tend to hurt each other in:
- Trust deficit behaviour is a big issue amongst couples. Trust issues are of two kinds, one is when your partner has cheated on you previously which makes you doubt his/her acts; another one is when your own mind set or thought process is over shadowed by orthodox thinking or beliefs that you tend to either dominate your partner with rules or you tend to doubt him/her unnecessary spoiling your overall relationship with him/her.
- Financial aspects need to be mentioned here as well like in every other discussion about marriage or committed relationship. If you are the only breadwinner, you tend to impose some financial rules or limitations for expenditure where at times you might find your financial priorities as more legible and understandable and your partner’s as unworthy. This creates financial insecurity and a hurt where the realization of “Had I been earning, this wouldn’t have been the scenario” takes over his/her mind.
- A relationship is full of love and affection as long as there is no sense of competition. Competition here means a feeling of being superior over your partner. This tends to make you always look for an upper hand over him/her. As a result of all this, during any argument you are bound to raise the subjects explaining your beloved what all you have been doing for the relationship or for him/her which unknowingly becomes a regular practice leaving your partner emotionally low every time.
- As the above fact is a statement for talking more than required, this one is for those who keep mum all the time to avoid hurting their partner. Such a lot usually maintains quietude in lieu of being a better listener to their partner’s unworthy talks or addresses because they thing that something said would spark the argument and hurt their better halves. But is it wise to forget that keeping mum can actually trigger the emotional and mental turmoil inside you? As John Dryden has said “Beware of the fury of a patient man!”, you sure don’t want to burst on him/her one fine day! It is thus advisable to speak out where necessary rather than be taken for granted every now and then.
- Further contrary to the previous argument, if you have one unstoppable tongue, then you need to put that to a halt and learn to become a good listener as well. Always yapping your frustrations or ideologies on your partner whether or not being liked by him/her can be truly irritating. Another fact is that your partner loves to talk a lot while you don’t, in such a case is there a harm listening him/her out just to give him/her the feeling of being heard?
- Unlike you controlling him/her financially, a reverse case scenario is that you can be a spendthrift while your partner expects you to understand the value of money once you are engaged. To have a partner and kids of all about being responsible and financial responsibilities come along with it. This is to say that if you are one of those who like to spend like a single, then it’s time you understand that you are responsible for few other people as well!
- Confidence plays a very crucial role in maintaining a romantic or committed relationship. While love, sex, moments of joys are not the only thing meant to beautify the relationship, lack of self confidence or a constant fear of he/she deciding to leave you can be troubling. A relationship might be satisfying for your partner but it might be the opposite for you. Do not let your lack of confidence in your relationship create the situations of hurt for him/her, rather indulge in an attitude of happiness and step forth to add the content of joy and peace in your relationship with confidence of keeping it alive forever.
- Being dependent is good in some ways but can be like a burden to your partner in some situations. Sharing the responsibilities is a good step forth to lending peace and contentment in your relationship.
- Expectations might sound beautiful but these become your biggest enemies when you find them unfulfilled. This is something that leaves not only you but your partner also hurt emotionally. What expectations you have out of your partner and what he/she has from you still sadly remains the biggest of relationship dilemmas or puzzles! It is thus better to keep your expectations low always.
- Arguments are essential for every relationship. As long as you don’t become habitual of arguing with him or her, you can take up some debatable topics along with your beloved. It is obvious that in any argument, even if it’s a light hearted one, you tend to hurt your partner. But such a situation calls for a make up with him/her. This would been indulging into some love filled affairs, some pampering, some intimate sessions and a lot of understanding.
“Let’s hope that for every time that we get hurt or break our heart, there is something somewhere being written to make up for it, to make the happiness due even bigger and laughters even merrier, for after all good things must happen to good people.”
― Mansi Soni
- No relationship is easy or tough. It depends on how you take it to be. By accepting your relationship as an easy going ones, you would land up hurting your partner with an assumption of him/her being as happy as you. In another case, you would land up finding your relationship as one filled with hardships. In either ways, your thought and assumptions would manipulate your actions and your actions would affect your partner too!
How Women Hurt In Relationships-
No offenses to women readers here! Just a little contemplation of how this knowing or unknowing ways of hurting differ in both sexes:
- It has been noticed that women either tend to or choose to overlook the efforts of betterment by their male counterparts in any romantic relationship. So ladies, all you need here is to be a little appreciative of your beau’s efforts to please you!
- Women have this undying nature of disliking their partner appreciating another lady. Ladies, he isn’t eloping with a celebrity he is fond of, so please take it easy, even you have fantasies with some of the hottest male stars!
- Some females get some distinct satisfaction in bringing up their husband’s failures and in reminding them constantly of their failures.
How Men Hurt In Relationship-
Well if men had been beaming with joy over the above stated facts about their female counterpart, then here are the ways how men tend to hurt their girl friends or wives:
- There is probably not a single woman who is not dealing with the ego factor in her partner!
- Men have rarely proven to be good listeners to their beloved’s.
- To be possessive is engraved in the nature of most of the men.
- Men tend to be hypocritical.
Downtrodden is her spirit, Pricked and wounded, Her now sterile self, Wandering solitary, In a sequestered desert, The desert of hurt, With scorpions of memories, And sting of desolation, Which has now become, The irrevocable sting!