People confuse ego, lust, insecurity with true love. – Simon Cowell
All of us have fallen in love at some point or the other in our lives. Sometimes, it is with a thing, sometimes with a game and sometimes with a person. Of course love is a wonderful feeling, but it is often difficult to differentiate between love and lust. Fret not! Your relationship expert will bail you out in no time.
Here are a few tips that will help you differentiate between love and lust –
If it is love, then it is the following that you must feel the following –
Only when one is in love, does one feel elated with life. This is not a feeling that one can associate with lust. When in love, a person feels happy with life and on top of the world for no reason at all. This kind of elation can only be related to love.
Satisfaction and Contentment
The feeling that you want nothing more from life, can only be felt when one is in love…one is in such happy space in love that the need for anything else vanishes. Such kind of satisfaction and contentment cannot be felt when one is lusty after someone. There is a huge difference between satisfaction of love and satisfaction of love. In lust, one goes desirous but in love, one is content.
Pining for the person you are in love with
It is but natural to painfully miss the person you are in love with. For, if you are in love with someone, you are obviously going to miss them. This feeling will be very different if you are lusting after them. It isn’t going to be a painful to miss the person you are lusty after. You are just going to be pining for their touch and not so much for their presence.
When in love, there are dates…dates wherein you don’t have sex, dates which mean more than just sex and dates where you share more than just a bed. Such dates are only possible in love and not otherwise. Hence, only if you have been in love, will you know the deep meaning behind these dates. If you are one of the few lucky people to have had such kind of love, you should rejoice and cherish it, even if it doesn’t really last. For, not everyone has that kind of luck.
Nothing can give you the kind of confidence that love does. It makes you feel sure of yourself like nothing else ever has. You are going to feel like you are ready to take on the world and this feeling is definitely a gift of love. Nothing else, can give you such dose of confidence as love does. It is a once in a lifetime experience that everyone should definitely go through.
However, love and lust have a thread-thin line between them and to differentiate, you ought to know the difference in the feelings of the two. If you are in lust, you are going to feel the following –
You are going to go through a feeling of immense pleasure that is not even remotely connected to the feeling of elation one feels in love. The pleasure is going to drive you to such heights that you will want to feel it again and again and over and over. This kind of pleasure can only be felt if one is lustful after someone. Otherwise, it is difficult to feel such pleasure. Not everyone has the luck of feeling such pleasure either because it isn’t easy to admit to the feeling of lust.
You are going to be desirous of the person you are in lust with all the time but this isn’t going to be a desire of the presence of the person. Instead, you will be desirous of the touch of the person, of the feel of their skin and of the sensational pleasure that they make you feel. Thus, you can very well understand the difference between lustful desire and desirous of love.
When you think of that person, you think of sex….
You don’t think of the time you have spent together or of the other things you could have or have done together. You think of the sex you had with them and go crazy about it. You crave to have sex with them once again. This is going to drive you crazy and you are going to be full of lust for the other person. This is one of the biggest differentiators and one of the obvious differences between love and lust.
You immediately think of having sex after you have met…
As soon as you have met, you don’t want to do anything else but go ahead and have sex. This is an obvious case of love over lust because people in love cook for each other, snuggle, cuddle, hang around, go for movies, dinner etc. and then eventually come around to having sex. However, if a couple immediately gets to having sex and thinks of nothing else at all times, they can be categorized as lusty over lovey-dovey because there is a lot more to the package of love, than just lots and lots of sex.
You don’t call each other or talk to each other often…
People in love talk to each other all the time…they meet very often too. However, if the two of you rarely call each other or get in touch with each other, then you can boil it down to the fact that you don’t really think so much about each other except when you feel a need to have sex. Thus, this can surely break your illusion between love and lust and in no time. For, no one in their right mind wouldn’t call their lover often enough and hang around with them at places. It is just not the right thing to do and doesn’t settle down correctly either.
However, these cannot be the defining factors between love and lust. A lot of times, a relationship is full of both, love and lust and such relationship is truly blessed.
So, how exactly do you know what kind of a relationship you are in? Here are a few tips to help you find out –
Trust your instincts
These kinds of things can best be left to instinct. No one knows better than your instinct whether you are in love or lust. Hence, when your inner voice tells you something, you ought to trust it completely and go with what it says.
Don’t fall for the charms
You definitely don’t have to fall for the charms of the other person. If they want to sleep with you, they better come clean about it rather than charming you into bed and then dumping you later on. If you have a doubt about things even once, confront your partner straight away and you will be able to figure out what it is exactly that they want. You can then make your own decision after they have come out clean about their wishes and their desires with regards to you. The same applies to you as well. If you just want to sleep with someone, let them know in as many words because it can later lead to complications and hurt which none of you are going to enjoy.
Look at things objectively and with a practical angle
Love is blind and lust, even more so!
It will surprise you when you look and analyze things based on logic and reason. It will come across so differently than how you have been taking it all along and it will be much easier for you to come up with a sensible and sound decision. After all, you don’t have to go ahead with something you don’t really want. You will easily be able to figure out whether it is love or lust that the two of you are caught up in and either ways, if you like it, you are free to keep going on.
Decisions of the heart can never be made with your head in the right place.
Lastly, the feelings and experiences of each and every person are different and hence, you will have to make your own decision based on your own situation.