The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.
– Brian Tracy
All of us have fallen in love at one point in time or the other. Sometimes with our parents, sometimes with our partners and sometimes with someone else’s partner. Today, your relationship expert is here to talk about love of different kinds and about the darker nuances of love. Love isn’t always between a man and a woman; sometimes, it’s between friends, sometimes between people of the same sex and sometimes, it’s for another woman’s man. Is it accepted? Socially, it isn’t! But should it be accepted? Well, I think, why not? After all, love comes in all shapes and sizes so why should it be looked down upon in any form?
However, we as a society often look down upon love between man and a woman and hence, it is hard to expect the same society to bow down to other kinds of love. What is this unconventional kind of love that we talk of? Well, here is a list of some that I know about –
A dog will teach you unconditional love. If you can have that in your life, things won’t be too bad.
– Robert Wagner
Yes, god has created lesbians. They may or may not be a little less in number than men and women but they exist and they are human-beings just like everyone else. They deserve to be treated on a humane level too. It is incorrect to look down upon those women who fall in love. Celebrate their love just like you celebrate everyone else’s. They deserve it.
Just like 2 women fall in love, 2 men can also fall in love with each other. Again, you don’t have to look down upon them. It is absolutely normal. Yes, it might not look like it to you but the feeling of love is more normal than anything else in the world. Learn to accept that feeling irrespective of caste, gender and sexual orientation.
Bisexuals falling in love
Now, yes, this is indeed a category. There are people who can love both men and women and it entirely depends on if the partner is willing to accept this about the person. For, a bisexual’s partner may feel insecure but when there is love on both ends, there also ought to be trust on both ends. Yet, if your bisexual partner falls out of love or falls in love with someone else, you need to understand enough to let them go.
The recent makeover of the extremely popular Bruce Jenner from the Kardashian family has gotten everyone talking about transgender people. These people may not seem normal or may unsettle you but their capacity to make love remains intact and they don’t behave in a manner that isn’t human. Yes, a transgender is very much a human being and should be treated like one.
Love isn’t based on mere sexual orientations. That isn’t just the definition of unconventional love. There is a lot more to it than meets the eye. For instance, what if one falls in love outside of marriage? Or what if one falls in love with someone else while already being in love with someone? Confusing, isn’t it? Well, love is a confusing matter but it will take us a lot as a society to understand that love is a feeling that isn’t under anyone’s control, it just happens. We need to stop judging those who have fallen in love as cheaters or cheap people because they aren’t that. Loving someone isn’t wrong. In fact, it is the best thing in the world.
So, what are the other forms of unconventional love? For, we need to identify it in order to be able to accept it. Here are some forms of love that you might not have heard of –
But groundless hope, like unconditional love, is the only kind worth having.
– John Perry Barlow
An Extra Marital Love Affair
Why is it wrong to fall in love outside of marriage? Isn’t it a shameful thing to do? Isn’t one cheating on their wife? Well, it really depends. It is very easy to fall in love but is that love real? Are you really in love with this other woman who is not your wife or it is just a result of marital stress? If you have really and actually found love after marriage, then it is time you take matters in your hands and accept the responsibility of your love. It is not incorrect to fall in love after marriage. Love can happen to anyone at any point in life. You need to understand this.
A Love Affair with a Vast Age Gap
Often, a young person falls in love with a very old person. Again, this is just another form of love and nothing abnormal. Hence, one ought not to ignore these aspects of love. It isn’t necessary that people with huge age gap should feel like father and daughter or mother and son. If they have fallen in love with each other, they obviously cannot feel like father and daughter or mother and son etc. One needs to understand this about them and let them freely fall in love instead of looking down upon them or judging them harshly.
A Teacher and Student Affair
No, this concept doesn’t occur in just porn movies. This is something very normal and happens with people. One shouldn’t judge the teacher or the student in such case or look down upon them. For, they are just 2 people i.e. 2 individuals who have fallen in love irrespective of their roles as a student and as a teacher.
The Boss and the Employ Affair
Often, there starts an affair between the boss and the employ but it is usually looked upon as a ploy by the junior to get a promotion. It may just be that they have true feelings for each other and nothing else. It isn’t always necessary that the employ flirts with the boss because he or she wants a promotion. There could be a genuine relationship between them for all you know. Hence, it is necessary not to judge on the basis of perceptions.
Of course, there are other things. Sometimes, one person falls in love with 2 people at once and it becomes difficult to make a choice. Yes, again, it may sound inconvenient but it happens. So, imagine if we as a society were flexible to such ideas, wouldn’t life be easier? You wouldn’t have to explain everything to everyone all the time. Wouldn’t it be cool to have a society that doesn’t judge? That doesn’t follow norms! That is flexible and accommodating towards the simple feeling of love.
In India, Pakistan and quite a few other countries, marriages are arranged by parents and matches are made without consulting the partners in question. Of course, sometimes these arrange marriages work out and some other times, they don’t. Sometimes, the married couple falls in love and sometimes, doesn’t. For, love can happen to any two kinds of people and it doesn’t necessarily follow conventional norms and boundaries.
Love doesn’t ask you for a passport or a visa, it is not concerned about your looks, your name and your age. It doesn’t care where you come from, it finds its way into your personality and your heart. Love never makes any judgements and hence, we in return shouldn’t pass judgements on the beautiful feeling of love. For, love is unconditional, it will never ask you what, where, when, why, how and who. It will never ask any kind of question.
Love happens between any two kinds of people, a handicap and a perfectly normal person, a blind person and a person who can see, a dog and a man, a man and an unknown child. In fact, it sometimes happens between two friends and sometimes it may be lustful love while at other times, it may just be a random feeling of love which is totally friendly and there is nothing more to it.
Love in any form, any kind needs to be cherished. One doesn’t have to run away from love, judge it, look down on it or rebuke it. One has to enjoy it and celebrate it. For, love doesn’t shower its blessings upon everyone. So, if you are one of the few lucky ones who have found love, go grab it by the sleeve and don’t ever let it go. No matter in what form you have found love, that you have found it is what matters at the end of the day and hence, you shouldn’t withhold yourself from enjoying it to bits.