The Science of terminating a relationship
One of the most grief-stricken moments in one’s life is the time when one loses someone. What aggravates the situation is the fact that the person that has gone is actually alive and living his/her life normally. A person accepts the situation when someone departs after completing his worldly journey. However if someone who had promised to be on the side of a person through thick and thin decides to just move away then the moment that descends upon the person who is left in the lurch comes with utter despair and dejection. There is a greater probability that the person is going to lose his mind and nerves.
After Initial realization that you are still hung over the person
Pause for a While, Understand and assess what has happened
Something very big has happened. It definitely requires one to leave the normal routine one is having right now. There needs to be a pause, a gap, or a distance that has to be maintained from the normal working routine. This doesn’t mean getting aloof from everyone else. However, this does mean stopping for a while in order to assess what really has happened.
Take comfort in your friend’s companionship, the one who will always lend a caring shoulder and a listening ear: In everyone’s life there are people whom they cherish; the people who know them completely and who have been their best buddies. There surely is a person in everyone’s life who understands that person- his needs, requirements, behaviour, etc. Finding such right person at this time should be the top priority. The pause that one has taken should be utilized in finding out that right person. This person has an amazing capability of finding solutions to all the problems. This is because this person can only be instrumental in making you understand what really happened with you.
Just pour your heart out- React, Cry, Shout, Scream: The next thing to do after finding that person is to just share everything that affected you. You may cry on your best buddy’s shoulder or you just shout, scream or show your extreme reactions to what you have been affected with. This thing will ensure that there are no residual emotions left in you and that you are venting out any pent up emotions. Remember, it is a myth which describes crying with immaturity. Don’t try to act as so matured as to suffocate and stifle yourself with the thoughts of break up throughout your life.
There are some beautiful thoughts on crying which can assure you that you are a perfect human being who has emotions and feels hurt when someone betrays. Charles Dickens, one of the leading Victorian era novelists said,
“We need never be ashamed of our tears.”
Even the great Elizabethan dramatist Shakespeare has summarized the benefits of weeping by saying, “To weep is to make less the depth of grief.”
Recall and Analyze: One of the most contradictory statements of all times is the one which says that we need to ‘Forget the Past.’ The past cannot be forgotten unless its pain is gone. So, the painful experience should be recalled again in order to relive that and experience the pain with someone alongside you who really trusts and understands you. This is the analysis phase which lets you find out what might have gone wrong. It is pivotal to find out the reason as it will ensure that your future is without any leftover emotions of the past. One cannot just let go what has happened without contemplating about it as forgetting is not a simple exercise. It is a complex process which may affect the personality in a hidden way if the proper process of draining the thoughts out is not followed properly.
Never feel bad or guilty: The process of building up should start from a assurance that we are the best and that we might have committed some mistakes. But it’s absolutely fine to make some mistakes as humans are fallible. So, there is no need to feel repentant and guilty. Rather, one should always feel good about oneself. One should keep on boosting oneself with the positive thoughts of being the best. The self-confidence should never be lost under any circumstances.
Start Locating Interest: The next step to build your life from this point is to find your real interest. The importance of finding the real interest is that one is self-motivated all the time and does everything with a passion. This passion assures that we are occupied and heading in the right direction with all our energy channelized in a positive manner. So, finding the work which keeps one engrossed and occupied should be located. Such a work can be done for hours without having the feeling that the things are imposed upon us.
“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving”
This saying of Albert Einstein precisely outlines the meaning and purpose of life. One is sure to find a balance in life if one is moving continuously. So, your life should also see you working with full energy and enthusiasm. Take one step at a time and focus on that. There is no point taking undue worry in making a lot of calculations. Rather, regular work daily will ensure that gradually you are at the top of the things and that you are not subdued by the circumstances.
Take up Challenges: One should find the lost vigour and strength. The indomitability of the soul should never allow one to bow their head to the adverse circumstances. One of the thoughts here will beautifully summarise the situation,
You gain power, bravery and self-assurance by every understanding in which you actually prevent to look fear in the face.
Entertain Healthy Thoughts, Adopt Healthy Living:
Finally you can achieve the level Zen
Reading Motivational Books: After having made a move and a determination to build up the next step is to gain constructive thoughts. Such thoughts are ubiquitous in motivational books. These books are inspirational and guide one to take up the challenges in life. These books are the storehouse of knowledge. The stories of struggle of various people like Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi, etc. can be really inspiring and touching. Such experiences are bound to elevate one from their present situation.
Exercise Daily: Exercising is the next major step which can ensure that we are on the right track. Getting fresh oxygen by talking a walk in the morning ensures that we are exposing the body to the right kind of environment for its growth. Moreover, the thoughts too tend to sublime after coming in contact with nature. So, getting enough and regular exercise ensures that the body is not under any stress or disease.
Do Yoga and Meditation: Doing yoga and meditation are the next building blocks in ensuring noble thoughts and ideas entering the mind. The mind feels so clean and focussed after Yoga. One seems to have found the real meaning of one’s life with meditation. There is no straying here and there. Rather, one is totally aimed and chasing their dream.
Eat a healthy diet: One should consume a healthy diet and maintain a strict routine in one’s life. Taking right amount of nutrients ensure that the body is able to fight any signs of stress, etc. This will also ensure that one doesn’t get affected with ill-effects of depression, etc. where one tends to eat more and do harm to body by indulging in bad practices of drinking excess of alcohol and other harmful substances. Eating fresh, green vegetables and chicken, etc. give the right kind of nutrients required for the body.
Plan regular outings: Planning an outing every now and then is very beneficial. One can take care of one’s mood by this. The fresh air, the enchanting beauty of the nature, the panoramic views from the mountains, the quaint and serene countryside, the tranquil mountains, the roaring of the sea, the beauty of the beach, all these natural sites are going to hypnotize people with their enchanting influence. So, regular outings should be made with family and friends.