After the last article on what women want in bed, it’s a writer’s duty to be gender-fair. So, today is a take on What men want in bed. No matter how great your bed timing is, there are things that your partner may be holding back. Unlike women, men are less vocal and little expressive. You have to go the extra mile to take out the actual truth behind his physical desires. As a woman and caring partner, you may like to know what is inside his head when you are up, close and personal.
To get the inhibition-free answers from men is a tricky question. There have been several studies before and some of them had shocking revelations. You may think yourself be the ultimate seductress and a diva in bed. But the reality is far deeper and complex. A recent research found out that most men think their sex lives are not fully satisfactory and their partners are completely oblivious about this truth. Men also complain women to be a little selfish when it comes to fun. “All she cares about is her orgasm; she has never really made any efforts to find out what excites me as a man. I love her but I am a little disappointed with my bedroom life”, complains a 28 year old architect. Many such stories will crop up if you start eavesdropping conversing men at a club. Scary? Read on to find the truth about what men want in bed.
Compliments are a great catalyst for sex. It’s unfair if you think only women respond positively to praise. Men are human too. Right? They too have the same need for praise and affection. Men are equally conscious of their looks and performance in bed. You have to make him feel confident about his satisfactory role in your sex life. Tell him good things about his body and how much you like him. Remember, it has to be sex talk and something truly arousing. Try and see what works best for him.
Sex for sex’s sake
Yes, men are more mechanical in their approach to love and intimacy. Not that they are totally devoid of emotions; it’s a fact that sometimes it’s only a physical need for them. Women need to understand this basic trait and do not criminalize his sexual desires. As per an Australian psychologist, men enjoy ‘raw sex’ and want their partner to reciprocate with equal passion. Do not get too emotional every time. When he wants things to be plain wild and mechanical then be a sport. You have to be comfortable with the idea of gender differences in bed. Pleasure do not mean same thing to men and women.
All his sex is not localized to one region
Surprise, surprise! Men’s sexual locality is not limited to the genitals alone. He definitely has many other erogenous zones which he wants you to explore. Commonly, men like to be touched around the inner thighs, back and chest. The prudent advice is that you explore and experiment to find out what works best for your man. If you are a couple of open communication, you may directly ask him about his erogenous zones. Make sure you titillate him enough before you go for the final act.
“I love fantasies but too scared to share it with my wife as she would judge men”, says a 30 year old banker. This is so much true for most men. They like to talk about their fantasies and know yours too. Girls! Give them open space and let them express themselves. Even if it’s weird and dirty, do not judge. It’s just a fantasy, enjoy it. Ask him about what’s his favorite position and what all he wants to do in bed. Men are deeply involved in their sexual fantasies and you should value their aspirations. Let him pour out his heart and mind and you can know all his naughty temptations.
Women need to be honest
What? Fake orgasm? It’s a big no-no for women to fake anything in bed. Men desire honesty in bed. They would like it more if you are open and frank rather being untrue. Men value their bedroom life more than women. They have tied their egos to what happens in bed. So, a little mistake can cost you dear. Just be honest in your feelings and level of enjoyment. If you do not like something, say it. Guys in general are over-conscious about the idea of satisfying their lover. So, they constantly make efforts to keep you happy and content. On the other hand, you can co-operate by being honest. Is that too much?
Watch porn together
Since teenage, men are conditioned to take porn as normal. Women may find it kinky or wild but the sooner you become comfortable to reality the better it is. They also expect their partners to share fun with them. Do not view sex as something indecent or weird. Porn is adult entertainment. Be fun and sporty by watching some movies together. Even soft porn is also a great alternative for women to enjoy. It also acts like a great aphrodisiac and let the juices flowing. Who knows that you’ll start the fun in the couch and conclude in your bed?
Do not make sex as a favor
Moments in bed are mutual and should not be thought as any kind of favor. The worst thing women do is to treat sex like a favor to their partners. They show as if they are doing it for the man’s happiness alone. It’s a pathetic think to do and if you are one of those women, relook into your attitude. You need to seriously correct such behavior if long term happiness is your pursuit. Do not make him beg for physical favors as it’s a serious deterrent to your entire relationship. As per a recent survey, more than 34% of men felt that their partner makes sex as a favor and it’s a potential reason why they want to break up. Beware! The statistics are scary.
Open to fun and new tricks
Men prefer women who are open to new experiences. If you are a lady who only likes the missionary position, chances are that your man is slightly dissatisfied with you. Sexual act is also like cuisine; you want variety and newness. Guys like girls who are ready to explore new sensations and are open to experimentation. You should not make faces over trying new positions and new experimentation. Just go with the flow and enjoy the fun. Men love to try new situations, places and explore the next level of fun. Co-operate with him and have great fun yourself.
If you are someone who initiates the great act then you are likely to keep your man happy. It’s a popular belief that man is a caretaker and the same definition reciprocates inside the bedroom as well. True, but it can become boring and cliché at times. Sometimes, men do desire women who initiate sex. The trick is to let him be the leader and you can initiate the fun sometimes. Call him during office and let him know you are waiting eagerly at home. Why not light candles and create an ambience for romance before he comes home? The possibilities are endless and we know how creative you are. Aren’t you?
Dirty talks are a great way to arouse your man. It’s easy, simple and does not take much effort. Women in general, are great talkers; so why keep quiet in bed? Talk about what you would like to do and tell him your wildest fantasies. Indulge in talks about how you feel when he touches you and what arouses you most. There is no limitation in what you can talk; you know what we mean.
Accept him the way he is
While this wisdom is true for your whole relationship, it does have a special significance in your intimate life too. “Men do not want to be judged on their looks, intimate parts or sexual desires. They prefer to be accepted as a whole. Women should not categorize things like I like his kiss but not caressing”, says a leading relationship expert. Research reveals that men prefer to stay with women who are more accepting and casual rather than women who nitpick all the time. So, if you are a nagging queen and teacher who correct him all the time, stop right there.
The crux of the matter is to indulge in fun and keep him interested in you. You obviously know the basic when it comes to dressing and putting on nice lingerie. Take the fun to the next level by following our easy tips. While you make all the efforts to keep the love fire burning, we will continue to bring newer ideas to help you. Wait for our next article which will give you deeper insights in the world of love, sex and relationships. Till then, love and enjoy.