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I need a miracle

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  • #32341013
    merciful_b
    Member

    My boyfriend and I didn’t exactly broke up… we took “time”, as in a break. He wanted the break because of a big fight we had. And I admit it was my fault, I changed in a way I never thought I would. I was jealous all the time and I was possessive torward him. But I was blind to notice it until now since our break. The thing is, that I don’t even know what we are anymore. It’s been three stupid months since we had that fight and he felt insecure about it. He told me he was afraid of ending like his parents, which they are divorced. But that he still loved me, so I told him that I would give him more time to think about it. The thing is that I kept waiting and waiting for him day by day. It destroyed me completely, mentally and emotionally. So much that I even thought and almost did, suicide. And he went on with his life as if nothing. He hungout with his friends everyday. And it was as if he forgot about me. I then talked to him and he said he was sorry for making me think all that. That he never chose his friends before me, but to me he still did. I then asked him if we could start over and he told me that he had to think about it, that I wasn’t something that he could answer right away. The point is, that up until now, I keep waiting for him. And I realize I did a lot of mistakes, but I learned from. I learned my lesson from this punishment even though it affected me emotionally and mentally. Right now I am mentally ill, I leave in misery everyday. But I still don’t want to give up. I asked him out once and he accepted it. And we had fun. A lot of fun, as if we were a happy couple again. But I keep waiting for him, but in a way I am determined to keep asking him out. All I want is to start over with him step-by-step. I don’t expect it to be fast. And I keep having hope that things will workout and maybe we’ll be a happy couple again. But I sometimes have my doubts. I keep having nightmares and I keep going on with my day sad and crying. He still loves me. As long as I know, he has not gone out with any other girl, besides his friends. He made that clear, that he wasn’t interested in dating just anybody if we ended things. And we talk everyday. Whenever we see each other, he always hugs me and kisses the top of my head lightly. Those are the little details that still moves my heart and gives me hope. But, he has made me wait long already even when he promised he wouldn’t. Not long ago, I gave him a letter for our 14 monthaversary. I wrote him a poem, and an extra note saying that I still longed for him, but that I expected it to be step by step. I also told him that we should go out again anytime, and that he could feel free to go to my choir rehearsals anytime. All I wrote was in a gentle way. I didn’t wanted to seem desperate and still crying for him. And when I go out with some friends, he seems kind of jealous and surprised to see that I go out with other people. That I’m trying not to cry over him at each hour. And that I have met new people, that I’ve been socializing because I also want to continue my life despite all things. 

    But I still keep having hope. I am in the process of asking him out again but I’m afraid he’ll say no, or say he’s not free or that he will tell me that we should have a talk. I am very afraid of all those things. I’m also afraid that if we do go out, things will remain the same and I’ll be suffering and crying endlessly again, despite the fact that I’m trying to get better emotionally. I just need help, someone who could look into my future or just simply give me advice. I have been suffering too much. This may seem boring and ridiculous, but it is real and not many people understand what I am going through.

    #32345885
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Without DR DAHIRU a lot of people would have been dead through heart break. My case is not different from heart break, I am married woman with 3 kids and there was a time when i was having problem with my husband because he was having an affair outside our marriage and this was making me feel bad. So i tried finding solution to my problem by reading a lot of relationship tips on the internet and that was how i came in contact with DR DAHIRU contact details and through the help of DR DAHIRU at @gmail.com">arewaspecialistttemple@gmail.com  my husband left the girl he was having affair with and he came back to me and our kids. After a job well done by DR DAHIRU i felt that it will be unfair if i keep this secret to myself and that is why i am going to drop the contact details of DR DAHIRU right now,or you can also reach him via this email:  @gmail.com">arewaspecialistttemple@gmail.com

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