We are 19 years old and met almost a year ago during the first week of college. We both got into Greek life so after about 4 months things got too complicated in his opinion and so he cut things off with me saying it was too serious for what he was looking for at the moment. So then after 2 months he contacted me and said how much he missed me and that he wanted to see me more and whatever. I had stopped going to all of his frats parties at the time because that was the only way for me to feel like I could maybe move on but it didn’t help much. So I gave him a bit of a hard time and then we fixed things and he opened up and explained a lot of his problems in his family life and just life in general because he was having problems and using drugs at parties and such. So we got super close again and everything was going perfect. He even started acting like my boyfriend but I didn’t even force him on anything he just did it all himself. But the week of school ending he became distant again and stopped trying to see me. I saw him on the last day though really quickly to say bye but he could barley make eye contact. So we both went home (4 hours away from each other) and he didn’t contact me for almost a month. Then suddenly he started talking to me again casually and after talking again every now and then he started saying he missed me and wanted to come visit me. He said both things a couple of times and kept complimenting me. And was just acting super great but now again I haven’t heard from him in a couple of days. I don’t get why this sag guy keeps coming back begging and then disappears?? Some one please help me understand? I don’t think it’s just because he’s trying to hook up with me cause he has other girls to hook up with and him and I don’t even hook up much nor does he try to on days where he would act like super romantic with me.
You are wayyyy to good for him. Tell him when he really figure out what he wants, then he should contact you. Don’t let him keep pulling you on this emotional roller coaster. Tell him you guys can JUST be friends because to me it sounds like you’re his safe haven. Date other guys. Sometimes you need to meet new people which help you truly understand and get over toxic relationships as this one. I’ve dealt with one of these kind of men and it put me in a bad place. As much as you love him, it’s time to move on until he sorts out his problems.
You deserve better! Someone who really loves you makes you his #1 priority, treats you with respect and honor, rather live with you but can’t live without you. I promise there is someone out there better!