I was with my boyfriend for almost 5 years before he broke up with me.He is 30 and an Aquarius. I’m 27, Virgo. We met in college and lived together for one year.I moved back to my home city and we did long distance for two years.This was really hard on both of us. However, about 10 months ago he moved up here to be with me and landed a job that he loves.
In the weeks following the break-up I learned that he had been in contact with his ex (his first love) for the last 3 months we were together.I had discovered emails and they had become very intimate with each other the last two months we were together (sexting, pictures, and towards the end, even expressing love).
Subsequently, he has assured me that he has cut things off with her and that she was just a means to an end (she lives in another state).Reasons he gave for breaking up:we fight too much, we aren’t compatible, I’m too dependent and not confident.He said that he loves me, but is not in love with me.Before I found out about the cheating I had begged and pleaded him not to give up on us yet and to try and work it out.He refused. I moved out.
It’s been 6 weeks since he left me. He said he wanted space and for both of us just to focus on ourselves individually. He said part of him wants to come back to me and make it up and that he misses me and will always love me.But he keeps saying he wants no contact to discover whether his feelings are just out of guilt and adjusting to not seeing each other or if they are authentic.
Over the weeks I had become increasingly emotional and confused by the cheating with his ex and the way everything unfolded.He seemed like he became a completely different person.I ended up contacting him many times and wanting to talk or see him to discuss what happened between us and asking questions about his relationship with his ex.I never got anything out of it really and the last time we spoke (Friday) he was angry that I have not been respecting his wish of no contact.He said ‘after what I did to you, you should want nothing to do with me. You have no self respect.”He also said that I never let him chase me and he doesn’t think I will ever change.I felt embarrassed and at a loss for words and quickly got off the phone with him.
I have reflected a lot over the past 6 weeks and understand how my behaviors caused his attraction to die for me and contributed to the turmoil in our relationship (which I am actively working on). I also acknowledge that he is not perfect.My questions are:Is it too late?Did I push him away for good?Is there any chance that I can get him to come back to me?How can I prove to him that I can change the behaviors that negatively affected us?How can I increase his attraction enough to give it another shot?Any advice would be greatly appreciated (especially from other aquarius men).