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Ruler: Pluto, Mars
Difficult Scorpio situation, help needed
- This topic has 6 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 8 months ago by Anonymous.
July 29, 2014 at 9:46 am #32341248AnonymousInactive
This might be a bit of a long read but please stick with me as i’d like to see insights from unbiased points of view, preferably by Scorpios.
I met a Scorpio (28.10.80) man 2 years ago and he asked me out, we started things slow at first but then somehow sped up and we got quite serious. It was mostly great for the first 8-9 months – we had fun, he was quite caring. Anyway i think we started getting really serious after i offered him my help about stuff and he took me upon. After this he started being needy and jealous whenever i didn’t give him my full attention (for example when having to meet with other people i had previously made plans with). I guess this is how he expressed his affection/appreciation. But then i found out he would often lie about (usually silly at the time) stuff and then come to me and admit it. I’m a Sagittarius so i value honesty highly and hate lies. Then one day a big lie came out and i told him he had lost my trust (another woman he used to really like was involved in all of it). Time passed, we worked through it, although i found out he didn’t tell me the whole truth i eventually forgot about it.
From there on i think he decided to do whatever it takes to please me and make me happy, we were also always together whenever possible, which meant most of the day basically. Eventually both of our lives and situations got tough, for unrelated to our relationship reasons. During this time i was also getting attention from another male, who i truly dislike and kept ignoring, but i think Scorpio noticed (the attention i was getting) and may have assumed something that was untrue. We never openly discussed it though, so i can’t be sure. He also had developed a “habit” of inspecting my cellphone secretly from me, in case there was something i was hiding. I caught him once, and blew out on him (nothing huge, but i was pissed me off.) We were still seeing each other almost every day and kept daily contact over the phone.
Then the first thing that i noticed happening is he wouldn’t always call me during his lunch breaks (may sound silly but it was something unusual). He still trusted me with his e-mail and forum passwords and stuff, he was asking me to log-in from his accounts and reply to people if necessary (i only mention this because it’s about to become an important detail). Anyway as i mentioned earlier, our lives had shifted towards being more difficult and we weren’t always in our best moods. The way i see it, we couldn’t really go out and have much fun any more, due to the unrelated reasons. So whenever we were together, that would be at my place, not doing so much, mostly cooking and watching movies. Nothing as exciting as before.
Then suddenly and quite slowly he started shutting out a few things from me. At first I began catching him in (unnecessary) lies again, then he eventually changed all of his account passwords one by one, without saying anything (i didn’t ask either, i had been sensing fishy stuff going on already, i was just trying to observe), although he eventually dropped a silly bomb saying: i think someone has been using my accounts (lol!). I’m pretty sure this was his way of telling me: i’m not trusting you with my accounts any more. While in fact to me it seemed like he might have something to hide now.
My birthday was also due and we were supposed to make a delicious cake, like we did for his birthday. I got emotional over something unworthy on the phone with him and hung up. That day we were supposed to shop for cake ingredients. I thought he would call back, but he didn’t. Next 2-3 days – didn’t hear from him at all. I was getting very upset, it had gotten obvious to me we are not making a cake. Anyway it was my birthday day, i thought maybe he was preparing a surprise for me, hence why not calling me. But that’s really when things started going downhill. I sat at home all day waiting for him to show up, but i just got a very dull “happy birthday” text message in the evening. I was devastated, i couldn’t believe i was getting this from him, and to top it off – on my birthday! We started text messaging, i had to get to the bottom of things; he had seemed to have made a big deal out of some past stuff, even bluntly blaming me for one thing i had no control over. And then he makes me tell him that i truly love him so he’s assured there’s a damn good reason to come and see me on my birthday.(WTF really…) Even though i was feeling humiliated during all of the time – i still loved him and wanted him to know it – he had me saying what he wanted to hear and here he shows 30 minutes later at my door all dressed up and with a new haircut. We had spent about 5 hours (literally) on the phone until he would “agree” to see me on my birthday, it was already past 10 pm so almost all cake shops were already closed. How fantastic. Anyway it was by far my worst birthday ever, even though we found 1 cake shop and had very late dinner. As you may imagine, i received no birthday present. I knew he was short on money at the time so i had to ask him why he got a fancy haircut so soon after his last one, especially when financially limited. He said to look good for me on my birthday, but that was such an obvious lie, he had no intention to see me that day what so ever, i literally had to drag him over to me, so so nasty and hurtful that was. It felt to me like he went out with someone else earlier that day.
So a few days later i was able to have a look at his phone invoice, curious if he had been talking with someone suspicious during the days i didn’t hear from him. And damn right he had! And for hours! I was devastated again. Didn’t tell him anything though, decided to see how things would go from here on. Do i need to mention – not well. He had changed, things weren’t very hot, he was a bit distant. I started catching him in numerous lies, but never spoke out. He had started putting his phone in silent mode while we are together. Then one night he must have forgotten to do that and this woman (from the phone invoice i had seen) calls him a few times at around 12 am while he is with me. I couldn’t take this crap any more so i burst in tears and told him that i find it all very upsetting and suspicious. He tried to calm me down by saying it’s okay and nothing that i should worry about. Uh-oh. Even i wouldn’t dare calling him this late unless it was a life-death situation. Anyway i began feeling very insecure and the tiniest argument would seem to drive him further from me, even with him being the culprit. He wouldn’t contact me until i do first, and would make untrue excuses for not doing so. Then would give me a really hard time until i can see him. Of course he also was jealous no more, even said to me that i’m never happy – i’m not happy if he’s not jealous, i’m not happy when he’s jealous either (which was a misplaced comment from him, i just always kept telling him he has no-one to be jealous from).
So as he had gotten distant and not treating me nice like he used to, it felt like our relationship was one-sided and superficial, whatever i tried to do i couldn’t get most of the things back to the way they used to be. And we resorted to seeing each other 1-2 times a week, for what ever reason, even though we talked on the phone at least once daily.
One time i had to go on a trip for a few days, which meant not seeing each other for a week. We were supposed to meet as soon as i was back but things messed up and i was going to come home very late in the evening so i told him we should see each other the next day. But he seemed to be fine with it and even said he won’t be available for the next few days due to work so we ended up not meeting until a few days after i had been back. That was another tough one to swallow, but he let me know that he didn’t even notice how quickly those days without me went by. Great.
The only tip that i got from him that he might still like me is his growing urges for sex. And he still sometimes told me that he loves me – but it was not like he used to when he really showed affection – i felt his intentions were shady/questionable.
Not too long after that he started being “unable” to even call me during some of the days while giving me weird excuses, and after one of those i was fed up and hung up the phone on him. Didn’t hear any more from him nor did i make any attempt to call him either, since i’m pretty certain he was lying. During those last few weeks i had caught him in so many lies, i know he was raised to lie and steal (seriously, he is the kind of person who would do that to get through life). I couldn’t take much more of it, as i had been suspecting him hiding big stuff from me. I lend him money so he can pay off his debts, but it turned out he had the money, just not quite enough to be able to buy himself a new fancy phone. That was nasty.
So now that we are no longer communicating, i often see him coming online in skype and putting provocative mood messages. For the first few weeks i didn’t do or respond with anything but then i decided i should. Silly me. I explained to him in a document file how i feel and what i have been gathering from him lately – no love and true desire for me. He read it and messaged me that it’s not what he had been seeing from me, basically saying he doesn’t believe what i’ve written and that some things are “too heavy to talk about”. What ever that means, we kept setting mood messages for each other to see and read, like playing a childish game. And while it may have been quite fun and playful, he now put up a revolting image with text in it saying we shouldn’t forget the ones who have helped us in difficult times, those who left us in difficult times and those who brought difficulties to us. Well, this message speaks ill to me, so i don’t feel like it’s worth continuing this “game”.
I’m truly sorry for making such a huge post, i basically laid out most of my relationship here.
And as i read everything myself, it really feels like he is just playing me, possibly trying to punish me for something i’m not quite aware of, probably something he was quick to assume, as he never bothered to engage in a serious conversation with me about our relationship whenever there was something wrong with it.
Anyway, what do you people think of all this? What is he after – revenge with mind games or could he be deeply hurt by something, expressing his bitterness? What would be best to do from here on, if it’s at all worth doing anything?August 8, 2014 at 9:02 am #32345702ThinkerBelleMember
Most of us often ignore the value of saying sorry. If you truly love a person, do it unconditionally. Say sorry if you have to then continue loving him your way. Loving someone isn’t losing oneself, it is an opportunity to know how love works. It’s not everyday that we meet a person who has the power to make our hearts fall in love. Love is a feeling, and feelings don’t lie sweetie. :).August 13, 2014 at 12:30 pm #32345714petal9Participant
I perfectly understand how you feel because I was also involved with a Scorpio. When I first met him everything was great, but then I learned that all that was to trap me. Then he became distant for no reason and always trying to blame me for something that wasn’t my fault. 9 months later he’s trying to come back to me. (but I will not go back with him because I’ve lost the trust). One thing I can tell you is that Scorpio men like to play mind games and don’t like committing themselves in a relationship. The advice I can give you is just ignore him and go on with your life (once a lier always a lier). You seem to be a smart woman and you deserve someone better.
TanyaAugust 13, 2014 at 3:27 pm #32345716AnonymousInactive
Thank you for your reply. That was very uplifting. 🙂
I also figured just for lying to me so much that he is unworthy. And it’s silly to play cruel games (what ever his justification might be) if you want a serious commitment. So i suppose he isn’t ready to handle being in a relationship, therefore nothing seems to be in my hands except for going on with my life.August 19, 2014 at 7:29 pm #32345705Myfuture101Member
I also understand how you feel as I was in a 1 year relationship with a scorpio guy. He basically stalked me until i gave in, then ended up falling head over heels in love with him. Things were awesome for almost a year. He was caring and loving and treated me like a queen. All of a sudden he started changing. He was constantly accusing me of cheating on him and saying he’s messing up my life and he needs to focus on his “carreer”. I was devastated but i told him I support him on what ever he feels is best. We saw eachother from time to time(mostly in the middle of the night). Anyway, long story short, not even a year later i see pictures of him and he’s married. lol I was so stupid. He totally fell for someone else which was his reason for breaking up with me.
Sorry for the looong response lol. My point is when i read ur story it was like dejavu! Scorpios are heart breakers. Wheele you in and spit you out. Don’t trust them!
I am now with a Leo man and I’m so in love 🙂
TAugust 25, 2014 at 1:15 am #32345676
I’m a scorpio rising female married to scorpio with sun and riseing I know all about those situations …..15 years with mine. Have seen th shady sides of scorpio and the best sides of scorpio …and in th first two -3 years was the hardest I have to say a friend of mine told me “girl I can not tell you what to do .”when I asked in despair.”you have to make your own decisions it’s your path to walk and its your free will “believe it or not it was the best advice I ever received I’d like to add you need to` way and out way the positives and the negatives because ultimately it’s your path he’s just on it .August 29, 2014 at 5:48 pm #32345611sarah0245Member
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