~*~ You Are Truly Loved ~*~
What is a Scorpio to do? I guess the more exact question is what is a Scorpio to do when they have been through so much and, at the end, feel like they see a chance to love again only to feel jaded once more?
I’ll try to keep this short, both length and incorrect spelling wise. Ok, well I am a Scorpio male, and I was born into a single parent household, and this single parent is my mom – who was a Cancer. I’ve always felt close to my mom. It’s not just the fact that she was the only parent I had, but we just had a special connection. We seemed to think and speak each other’s minds. Anywho, flash forward to 2009. My mom has been diagnosed with breast cancer; this was not even a year after she had already suffered a heart attack, and a kidney stone. So, I’ve already seen my mom suffer a bit before her breast canser diagonsis. And when she told me this new it just seemed surreal. I didn’t know what to think, so I tried not to. I went out with my friends every thursday night to drink and try to get my mind off of it. One of these thursday nights is when one of my best friends introduced me to a Virgo woman. We didn’t hit it off right away, as I’m sure you’re all aware of our Scorpion pride and self preservation. I just figured she was an another person passing through. But she wasn’t. She showed up with my friends (which consisted of three guys excluding myself – which makes four) every Thursday night, and when she did we eventually got to talking. Often times we’d talk about big ideas and big dreams, long into the night after everyone had left. I was smitten. Whenever we were together there was never a night we didn’t laugh, and I loved this; I enjoyed feeling like I could be myself around her. But I still had personal problems to attend too. My mom was still battling her cancer and I was standing beside her through thick and thin, and because of this I didn’t feel like I was ready, nor did I think it would be fair, to ask this Virgo woman to start a relationship with me. Fastforward to July 2011. After a one and a half year long battle with breast cancer, tragically, my mom passed away. It was very hard for me. And to be honest it still is. I think it will always be hard. But because of my mom’s passing I kind of went into seclusion. I stopped texting my friends, and just drove around the west coast and mid west for a few months. I didn’t know what I was going to do. Still don’t. But my friends all hung in there and were eager to greet me when I made my way back to them in So Cal.
So, I am inbetween homes really. I live with my grandma in Texas for a few months, and I live in So Cal with my cousin for a few months. I still have a lot of healing to do. I know this. But my heart is still with the Virgo woman. We have been very close friends even through out my wanderings. Recently, she asked if I ever thought about being with her in a relationship, and though I am a Scorpio, I went against my inclinations and professed my feelings. I told her I thought about her a lot. And being an aspiring writer, I told her about some of the poems I wrote about her. I essentially came clean. I even told her that she, my three friends and my cousin were the only reasons I even return to So Cal (which, to me, grouping her with those four others is HUGE). But I didn’t feel like she was as honest with me, which feels like a big stab in the back, and makes it hard to be that evolved Scorpio we hear so much about. She amitted to having thought about being in a relationship with me sometimes, but that she’s still working on her relationship now and that we should’ve been more upfront to begin with. It took everything I had to not lash out and I didn’t; instead, I explained to her that I couldn’t be upfront when I was going through something so personal, and that I didn’t think it’d be fair for me to admit these feelings earlier while my mom was still battling her breast cancer. Why would I bring someone into a situation like that? She just said she was “glad to hear this.”
So, here I am. I honestly feel like I love this woman, but waiting just makes me feel like I’m her secondary prize. More over, now I kind of feel like whenever we hang out it’s because I give her some sort of companionship she doesn’t get from the guy she’s with now. We Scorps HATE feeling like we’re being used, and this is no exception. What should I do? Should I just leave, and start over somewhere else?
She hasn’t done much study about you. But I can tell you one thing about Virgo. Last thing tHey would want to tellthemselves is that they are using someone. They keep assessing their relationship. if they feel they use you, they would start distancing themselves to avoid using you. Virgo is all about mind. They romance through their minds. Inspite of being cold they would love you from within, which will show in their smallest gestures. Give her time. But also keep your dignity ( don’t confuse with ego). If she senses that she will loose you, she will take out ways to be with you. She would never want to have you at the cost of anyone’s misery. Beware of that.
usually if u get yourself together the rest will follow…. i believe in that and i think that in the end if u guys are ment to b it shall be so but u have to also keep ur options open cus for all u know ur so distracted with this virgo whom is obviously occupied and missing the chance to be someones first pick….
Well, being a Virgo she will never process things in the same way you do – i.e. via emotional plane where gut feelings mean a lot (and you SHOULD trust your gut feelings). So she will ‘evaluate’ and ‘rationalise’ and ‘think’. Neither will she understand your wretched highs and lows, as Virgos hardly experience those…. unless her other planets are in water signs somewhere. Her way of romancing is somewhat practical. In the long run this kind of relationship will slowly evolve into friendship rather than true love. You will bond… out of duty. She is not prepared to be HONEST and put all her feelings on the plate as they are… not a good start. But then most women are not emotionally mature enought to do that.
Thank you for the comments. You’ve all given me a lot to think about.