Are You Romancing An Older Him/Her?

“Because he is good and kind,” she explained softly, then went on. “Because he treats me like a princess. Because he makes me laugh. Because he makes me happy. Because he took the trouble to read to me when I could not read to myself. Because he fed me and gave me wine when I could not eat or drink at balls. Because when he kisses me my toes curl, and when he makes love to me I cannot contain my passion.” 
― Lynsay Sands, Love Is Blind

What Women want in Bed
Ever wondered why you fall for one person amongst so many and then that person becomes special than everyone else! But age disparity remains at times a subject of mockery amongst peers or a topic for back biting. Unlike our earlier threads on marriage and romance, let’s brood over how the age difference matters in a romantic relationship and to clarify that we are here referring to the difference of more than ten years.

Romance Between Older Men and Younger Women And Vice Versa

Is it the lust that determines an older man to pursue a woman far younger than him or is it really love? The truth remains mostly situation oriented. But as the statistics indicate, such cases are mostly ruled by sex drives and not love. In some cases though these do turn out to be true love stories. What is it that sparks romance between two people of opposite sex and a huge age difference? Let’s look forth in the two separate contexts-

  • Romance between older men with younger women- Truly speaking, this kind of pair is very easily spotted now a days. Especially at the work places, junior female employee hooking with her senior, both age and rank wise, is quite common, no pointing towards the character of anyone here! Let’s take into consideration here the varied factors which are responsible for initiation of romantic interests between an older man with a younger woman-
    • First and the most obvious factors being that younger women are too conscious of their personality and are therefore very particular with their looks, attires, weight, figure and over all self presentation. And such a package is an obvious magnet for older men!
    • Younger women are mostly without any prior involvement or responsibilities of family, husband or kids. So this makes the over all affair less complex.
    • The new generation women are independent in every way. Whether in a discreet manner or openly, young women explore all the spheres of life on their terms whether it’s the physical, sexual, professional, financial etc. Such independent lot become the interests of many older generation men.
    • The mid life crisis is another factor governing an older man’s wish to be romantically involved with a younger woman. Being occupied for a long time with a constant steady and never varying schedules with family makes them feel as if having been tied down since long. This makes them eager and fanciful about their fun times. Such a situation sparks the itch for a new romance with a new woman, which ethically sounds wrong, but is entirely one’s personal choice.
    • Sometimes, older men wish to have more children of their own but the age of their spouse prevents them from the same, which they look forward to fulfilling through a romantic relationship with younger women.
    • Younger women on the other hand aspire to be romantically attached with a man of resource and good financial capabilities. But don’t forget to note that not all women look for money and finances, some genuinely fall for older dates.
    • Younger women look for older men because they are in most of the cases well established.
    • Older men, of course owing to their age and experience throughout, tend to be smart with any kind of conversation. The intelligence is another attracting feature in older guys.
    • Many younger women are sexually experimenting and wish to have men who can keep the fire burning in bed. In such a case they look for older men as they are obviously assumed to be sexually experienced!
    • Older men are possessive and dominating in a different manner. Their dominance ends at calling their girl their own. They appreciate for what their younger romantic partner is and in most of the cases they do not want to impose any changes in their partner. This sense of independence and freedom despite of being in a relationship is enough to make a younger woman fall in love with an older man.
    • Older men have a recurrent belief that dating the women of their wife’s/ex-wife’s age is like not dating but getting entangled into something they are looking forward to escape from. In such a scenario, younger women who have never been into a serious romantic relationship with anyone tend to become the most sought options for these men. So it can be said here that it is an easy, non-responsible and a wish to re-enjoy the youthful past that encourages an older man to get hooked with a younger woman.
  • Romantic relationship between older women and younger men-Even though this might sound a weirder pair to think in terms of romance, but this too is becoming a norm in the contemporary era. As has been mentioned above that such relations are usually ruled by lust sheathed in the name of love, let’s look into the factors that lead to such a romantic pairing-
    • According to some psychological studies, the basic factor of attraction of younger men towards older females is their multi tasking ability. That is to say that the older women juggle through multiple responsibilities of job, financial capabilities, kids, marriage and what not which makes them all the more successful in their own unique ways which is more attracting to the far younger males.
    • As was with the older men being more established, similarly is with the older women being more confident and responsible. Also, women of an older age is well accomplished and is thus rarely demanding.
    • No doubt the younger women take a good care of their appearance, the contemporary older generation of women isn’t far behind. They are even more particular about sheathing their age with a proper routine. And no wonder now a days one finds a woman who looks 30 but is actually over 40 years of age!
    • Experience is something the older women never lack in. Whether it is about life’s various situations or about sex, they have their own baggage of confidence no one can possibly match. This is another factor that younger men find attracted towards in older women.
    • Maturity stands as another trait in older women that seems to the younger guys like a rare-to-be-found entity in women now a days.
    • Young men find it more serene and comforting to be romancing older women. They see their growth opportunity in terms of personality as better when in love with older women.
    • Younger men are proud of what their older romantic partner is and they don’t intend to bring any change whatsoever in them.

What Women want in Bed
The incongruity in the age of men and women in romantic relationships has no bounds if we look into the statistics. Age difference is no more a taboo. But if you are willing to get into one such relationship or are already a part of one, then it would be wise to consider the following five points-

  • Whether you are a male or a female of older age, you might want to consider the legal issues if you are interested or are dating a boy or a girl below 18 years of age. This is to suggest that romantic relationships come with issues of unwanted/wanted pregnancy as well and such a case would be illegal if you have an under aged love interest!
  • You should understand the reasons of your involvement in such relationship. Is it out of true love, financial attraction or a certain comfort? It is this reason that would decide how long your relationship is destined to go!
  • Generational differences are something one should be prepared for beforehand. In maturity, decision making, confidence and many more such cases you are likely to come across difference of opinion and understanding. This might lead to obvious conflicts.
  • An older person in a romantic relationship bound to be critical about many things. So if you are the younger lover then you might want to ponder over one such situation.
  • Arguments are a part of any romantic or non romantic relationship. It is best not to highlight the age difference in your defence. This might prove to be fatal for your relationship.

So whether your romantic relationship is one like the American Beauty or Noce Blanche or The Lover etc. beware of the consequences which could be good or bad as well!

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