This is going to be a very unusual topic. I am a 33 year old libra pre-op transexual and I have been talking to a 55 year old male sag. he called me from an escort ad. It was just business at first and then it started into a personal relationship with texting and asking me out on dates and having me stay over night at his place. This started september 2012 and has been going on since. We have never talked about anything until recently. He asked me back in march to go on vacation with him for 5 days in may and all i had to do was pay for my ticket. I was so excited. Well things fell behind and by the time I was able to get my tickets the price went through the roof and I couldnt’ get them. He said he understood and left it at that. I started to get distant and not text as much. He texted me on the plain before they were going to depart and I asked him what we were. He said like “bf, gf, dating” and i said yes. He asked, “well what are we”. and I said i dunno, that’s why I’m asking you. (during a few times during sex he called me his girlfriend and i didn’t know if it was the heat of the moment or what). I told him it takes a lot for me to let my guard down and I let it down with him and that i’m starting to get too involved and am a little confused. He said it takes a lot for him to let his guard down as well and would like to get to know me better and that 5 days in a hotel is a perfect way to do that. Then i said “be careful with the online thing (escort sites) because it can be risky anywhere. And he replied with “Oh i don’t know what i’m doing other than laying by the pool”. Then I proceeded to open up more and tell him that i miss him very much, that I really like him, i think about him 24/7, i wait for the days that i get to see him and that everytime I think about kissing him i get all flustered. he didn’t respond right back, but when he did he just said “taking off” with a few smily faces. When he was in the air I texted him and said that i have a friend who travels and owes me a favor and she could use her points to get me to vegas (she had more than enough points). I told him that I can fly out the next day and be back on the return flight with him. i told him i wouldn’t buy any tickets until i heard from him. Well it was about 2.5 hours after his flight landed and i hadn’t heard back from him so i texted him “hope you made it there ok”. He finally texted back about an hour later saying “sorry, phone died, fell aslep by the pool. I just need some relaxing time so no need to come down”. I was heart broked when he said that and i just reponded “oh ok”. that night I texted him “good night” and he texted back about a half hour later “good night”. usually he texts me “good night sweet dreams” with a bunch of hearts or smiley faces or says something cute with it. I keep thinking I messed everything up somehow or maybe he was just not into me the way that I was into him. Please help.
is it over? is there any hope? i’m just so confused. I want to text him so bad but i haven’t. Should i just give him his space and relaxing time? how do i fix this is it is fixable? I haven’t really eaten a lot, can’t sleep, just really upset.