I have a close friend, and he is constantly depressed. I am really caring, and I tend to want to comfort people. And I try to comfort him, but it doesnt work. I try helping but it doesn’t help… Each time I find myself failing to help a friend I care about, I find myself becoming depressed, and feeling useless… I want to help him, because he is important to me… He opens up to me, and I open up to him as well. We know a lot about eachother… And seeing him upset, makes me upset, and his past makes me angry that someone went through that. I find myself becoming depressed, while tying to help him be happy… How can I work this out?
Well may be the problem is more deeper and has to do with low state of health or past trauma.
I was able to overcome my depression using Healing Codes and overcome bad past through Trauma Releasing Exercises. In any case you don’t want to get upset and depressed because it might create problems in your own life and attract health issues.
I do understand what you are talking about. I am a “rescuer” as well with a “superman complex”. I do know that I am ultra sensitive to the pain of others. With me, I tend to tire out and become a nervous reck and feel depressed when I take the weight of the world on my shoulders.
One thing I have learned though is that when someone is dealing with critical issues you can’t do anything to change them or “make them happy”. Only that particular individual can accomplish happiness in their own life. As much as you want him to be happy and see him happy, it is best to let go a little. That doesn’t mean you still can’t listen or be there, but, it is important for you to start taking care of yourself. For example, if you feel really upset or depressed and some individual tries to uplift you to acheive a happiness or euphoria, is it easy for you to see things any other way than how you feel at that moment?
Taking care of yourself involves eating healthy, an exercise activity that you enjoy; that could be running, jogging, walking or yoga. Do some nice things for yourself. Like going to get your nails done, getting your hair done, buy that outfit you’ve had your eye on. Hang out with some friends that are positive and uplifting. Maybe go to the movies, or coffee, the mall or just have a ladies night where you can have a pot luck and catch up on the things you’ve missed.
Hope things get better and you’re in my thoughts and prayers hun!