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is this my punishment?

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    I am a tarus the love of my life for 8years was a leo until he passed away 10years ago. since then i have taken no one seriously and built a wall no one could enter until 4years ago when a scorpio and i became lovers. i refused to allow him to get close he fell in love and i loved him. after a year and a half i fell in love but still pushed him away after 2 and a half years of me pushing he had enough and left. i knew then i was head over heals just as i had known before but refused to show and now its almost 2 years later and i still hurt the way i did then and he still calls every once in a blue moon to say he misses me. did he love me the way i loved him. is there the chance of us having an encounter ever again. should i make myself forget him or could he come back to me? this is not who i am i usually walk away unmarked leaving their broken hearts scattered was this my punishment? what do i do?

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