Hi, i am a taurean male and i have just experienced a first ever breakup with my cancer female..
This is a long distance relationship, and we will remain distanced for a year, we have been dating for about 2-3 months. Today she has taken it upon herself to leave.
Our main problem is whenever a confrontation arises i want to solve the situation, immediately before it grows. she wants to dodge the situation. She can be extremely anti-confrontational.. but i see no harm in solving a situation by talking… i dont often get angry at her unless she continually avoids the situation, sometimes she is willing to talk more often than not she is unwilling. But she wont say that directly.
I understand our personalities can contrast to the extremes.. and today that happened within an argument. Perhaps i was a little rough with her and i man handled her feelings, i dont think i directly said anything out of malice towards her. but i feel i was quite insensetive to her feelings in the heat of the moment. This was because she refused to address the situation. at the end of the conversation i explained to her how i felt about how she had neglected MY feelings, this deeply upsets me because i try my hardest to stick to her preferences. No matter how small. I feel asif she dosent return this to me as often as i like, though she is extremely good at tending to my needs when she does…
I know she loves me dearly, i can tell, and i believe her every word. She would never intentionally hurt me, sometimes she just dosent think as much as she should. We had a future planned out together, and she would constantly tell me how perfect it was, and how badly she longed for it everyday.
That future got shattered by our argument last night, where soon after she cut off ALL forms of contact with me, claiming the situation was ‘too much’. The only forms of contact remaining being to anonymously mail her, and to contact her via close mutual friends. I dont particularly know what i should do… I made an effort to let her know i care for her still.. and i still love her using other methods of internet communication, but she soon shut those down too.
This was perhaps the wrong thing to do, i know i proboably should have granted her her space but i thought it was important for her to know my feelings havent changed since the argument…
We have planned alot together… she gives me hope and i look forward to the beginning everyday because she is in my life, now shes completely, and i mean completely gone. until she decides to return (IF) she decides to return. I am extremely dedicated to this relationship like no other before and im completely willing to deal with the rest of the year as it comes…
This in particular was difficult to achieve because she tried hard to show me what we had, it took her a while but she succeeded. Now i dont think she can handle it herself… in short shes built me up to be able to handle a situation she is now unwilling to handle.. at least i think so… this hurts me alot.
Should i speak to her? (in maybe 2-3 days)
Should i communicate via mutual friends? (in maybe 2-3 days)
or should i completely leave her be… until SHE is ready?
I know she loved me alot and i know that didnt just change, not over the argument we had.. it wasnt love breaking.
Most importantly, do you think she will be strong enough to come back?