strange dreams and feelings

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    (there is so much to decribe I dont know where to start) The only girl I have ever dated and the only one i ever had strong feelings for is a Libra, not only an opposite in terms of my birthsign (aeries) but our personalitys, are totaly opposite. Im naturaly introverted and artistic in many ways, Im a musician (guitar) and singer of  7 years and this is something that im very good at (improvising). She is kind of wild, had a reputation for being, i guess a slut, but for some reason tried to prove to me she wasnt, but i didnt know what was true, she had a very bad relationship with her father. 3 years ago we dated, didnt last long, but somehow i started to see her in my dreams, just seeing her doing what she was doing but i was to afraid to get near her. Even when i saw her during the day i could feel a STRONG PRESENCE like i never felt before, i never felt that around anyone. Eventualy she found some guy journier year and got pregnant and this guy was a total asshole and brute. I sent her a txt when i didnt know she was pregnant and just wanted to finaly say something to her and gave my name and wanted to just talk, she kept denying that she knew me. then i replied if you dont remember me, than thats really going to hurt. Her boyfriend called me and started threatening me. Asked for my name, and stupidly gave it away and then i could here her crying in the backround. At that point i gave up, i became suicidal because for some reason i just wanted to be with her more than anyone else. 3 years later i have finaly dwindeled away from her and came to exceptance but i still like seeing her face even if it was on a photo from a highschool yearbook or anything even facebook. If I could just see her face, that was good enough. Now after three years she adds me as a freind on face book and i guess wanted to spend some time with me. We had a long conversation and then realized she wanted to just have some sex or something, but why me? Im a recluse man what are her true intentions? Day first day she started messaging me i had a dream in which she was holding me in her arms as if she cared about me and it felt better than anything i ever felt before, but i didnt understand it, i felt like i was in love again or something, then i started to rationalize it and then the feeling went away. This is so complicated for me to understand.


    I hope i didnt make this too long, its just so hard to describe. 

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