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Husbands Death

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    My husband died, it  will be 6 years the 23 of this month. he died a horrable death in mine and my son’s arms.  We talked about him being my casper, after he died weird things were going on and I knew it was him, he went threw my body I was totally calm I knew it was him.  The past month I have been hearing the frige opening and closing footseps I get up and no one is there I call his name and in my gut I know it is him Last night I had blue huge and all sizes of orbs all over me and around me a few white, and a couple like mossy green color I looked up the meaning of the colors blue was shielding, white was high frequency protection and the yellow green color was psyhic growth.  I have been having alot of problems since he passed.  also with substances and I was sober and clean for 20 years with him and lived the dream. I started using cocaine after he died, (not my choice my choice drinking) but I still hav’t drank in like 24 years really haven’t used any other drugs at first it was fine then it got out of control so 10 months ago I came back to the program. I did pretty good had almost 10 months and used because of a mean evil guy I started seeing the first day I came back.  But honestly  was dipping here and there.  So I came clean to my program and to myself.  by the way my 3 year boyfriend dumped me the day before I went back into program and 2 weeks later was in the program also.  It just been a mess he finally will talk to me if he see’s me he said before it was to painful,  I am just so, so, sad about my husband who treated me like a queen and I loved him but did take him for granted and I miss him so much is that him protecting me?  Is my ex boyfriend and gonna get back together He is so loving like my husband and I miss him terrible and keep trying to do the right thing and I use and don’t tell anyone, lately I emotionallly am a mess!!!But I still go to my meetings have a great sponser feel reallly guilty about not telling her.   What is happening in my near future?



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