I am currently going through a break up with my boyfirend. I have until 5 days left before we have to leave our apartment and we will be officially seperated.
About 8 Months ago, i was at work having a phone conversation with my boyfriend, when a (now ex) male friend started tauting down the phone. I panicked and instead of telling him to go away, i lauged to try and make my boyfriend not take it seriously. However he did, he found it humiliating and disrespectful. We argued but he said he could try and get over it.
Months went by, but he still would snipe and bring up the incident. His attitude changed towards me and he even admitted that he has made a vow to himself not to be the same as he was towards me. With the tension and the change between us, things became more stressful, he became more controllng and possesive. To the point where he would even get upset when i went to go visit my parents.
My performance at work was affected and as a result i lost my job. he convinced me not to get another and that he would support me, i could just concentrate on becoming a house wife and work part time. I did, but the financial strain made things difficult and therefore led to him being even more aggitated as he wasnt getting everything that he wanted.
As time went on, his tolerance level got lower and he tried to break up with me out of anger several times over things that i had done. The final straw, which i know was wrong was that i acepted a friend request on an app off an ex who i had no intention of talking to. I accepted fault and his decision to break up.
The first week he did not leave, i was in an emotianl panic so he stayed with me for the week as he said he was concerned for my well being And felt guilty he was leaving me in such distress. During that week we lived as normal, like nothing had happend. He was then reminded of the incident and then got angry again. He decided to leave so at theis point i asked him to stay and change his mind.
During second week, he decided to leave, said its best we split take time out for him to get himself together and rehibilitate himself (free from drugs) and for me to get out of depression and fix errors of my ways and get back to person he fell in love with, meet up in a few months and see what we feel. I agreed and let him leave. He left but came back after two days.
This is the third week now, he has been here but he still stays we should sort ourselves out and then come back. He says he does not hate me but if we would have stayed together and try to work through it he would end up hating me and thatnis jot right. He knows he has been absuve and he apologises he was just hurt by my actions, but he understands they werent intentional and thats why we can still at least be friends.
Im trying to stay calm and get through is but im just scared he just saying that its a temporary break as he knows its the only way i can get through the break up. My question is, is it really or is there la chance that he will come back?
It would be wise to leave apartment at this time with an intention to bring back love and happiness back in your life. The reason for doing this is simple — right now you both do not have what you might be ultimately looking forward to.
Love is a simple thing — whenever we feel good, we are actually enjoying Love.
He needs to learn lessons of TOTAL trust and you need to be free of any guilt/pity.
Deep inside he carries some past impression of hurt and betrayal, so he is unable to move forward and you have been losing self-confidence so unable to really resolve the issue.
You see Love is always present but we fail to often see it and get stuck in cycles of emotions and thoughts. All you need to do is this – imagine a past experience when you were very happy and do this exercise often.
This will help to regain confidence and your worthiness to enjoy a loving relationship. The very next step would be to enjoy highest levels of intimacy and sex.
I suggest you try a few things on our Solutions page.